My new blockbuster novel..The Darwin He Could !

[beekae]

Ok,Ive just had a brainwave to make myself a millionaire,I have been researching this book for at least 10 mins,and it will shock you.

Here is my draft,and I'd welcome any ill-informed,brainless or downright stupid input you may wish to share.

Charles Darwin spent his life studying apes,but one day he got the horn and decided to bum one very attractive chimpanzee.As they lay back,with cigaretes in hand,Chuck was shocked to hear the monkey talk.
"You have no idea,baldy"

Chuck,stood up poker straight(most of him),and exclaimed"you can talk,you little minx!"
The chimp,replies"all you ever believed,is fkn gash"

Queen K(slutty chimp) tells Darwin all about how apes actually evolved from humans,and are keeping quiet,until the aliens come down to help them start the revolution.
Chucky boy is blackmailed(with knobbing an ape),and sworn to secrecy.He even has to think up some crazy evolution story.

Anyway,turns out the monkey is up the stick,and gives birth to King Kong.
He is immediately whisked away to a deserted island,to await his triumphant return as ruler of the planet.

In the meantime,Hollywood producers are forced to make films(blackmail/monkey shagging) about how good apes are,and humans are really bad.

The MIZ(monkeys in zoos),are covertly spying on humans,who unwittingly donate to the RAR(red arsed revolution),by way of "entrance fees".

Cheetah,a high ranking ape holds court to this day,sneering at un-evolved humans.
A living legend,in primate circles,is entrusted with the super top secret,secrets that only the chosen few dare to know.


Contributions willingly accepted,but most of the crap remains the property of,and copyrighted by Done Brown.

[MercuryRises]

Well, you're right, it certainly was shocking

[Shambles]

I'd buy it.

I wonder why apes don't turn into humans any more...

[beekae]

Humans are bumping each other off willy nilly,and apes arent part of our food chain so they are multiplying and building their armies for the big,final push.

[Mule]

Humans are bumping each other off willy nilly,and apes arent part of our food chain so they are multiplying and building their armies for the big,final push.

People do eat apes.

[beekae]

Dont let facts get in the way,please !

[BM]

pmsl youre on to a winner here mate

[marcode]

lol, your worse than a christian m8.

[mcdee]

christ the footballs just finished and you've lost your marbles already

[beekae]

Right,thats it !.
Your no getting a part in the movie.

[whatnow]

i like it, especailly if you wrote it in a way where the reader assumed it was the other way around, then slowly it evolves into the fact that it's us from them.

[phlix]

I like the King Kong ink ... pretty good.

You could have reference to the 'Planet of the Apes' films actually being training videos for dealing with 'Post revolution human interference'.

Lets face it, if Dan Brown can write a novel that turns out to be a best seller, then anyone can. (btw, I don't like Dan Brown).

[Raptor]

I'd buy it.

I wonder why apes don't turn into humans any more...

humans as a species cannot possibly comprehend a million years of evolution

we cant even think in terms of millenia

[tombott]

i reckon your onto a winner here.

if you need any information on sleeping with chimps to make the sex scene as realistic as possible then speak to CJ