Nursing home police

[Robbo]

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors, shouting "Vroom, Vroom!" and making believe she was once again driving her car on the freeway.

Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of them actually joined in to help her live her fantasy.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched "STOP! Police!" he shouted in a firm voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?"
Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. "OK" he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she ! took the corner near the TV lounge on one
wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Police! Have you got proof of insurance?"
Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster, and held it up to him. Harold nodded, and said, "Carry on, ma'am."

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, with a very sizable erection.

Oh, good grief," cried Ethel, "not the Breathalyzer
again!"

[micko69]

a nice little quote from mr twoplanks that i think is appropriate here too

there is a theory about the big bang being caused by gravity gradually pulling the entire universe together into one black hole, a mass so dense that it is somehow forced to expand. some say the universe has expanded and contracted like this for all eternity. currently it is expanding, but black holes are forming and gradually pulling mass together into dense portions. black holes swallow eachother, and if that happened for ever then eventually all matter could be reduced to a singularity revealing some other fundamental force to make it all pop out again. reducing things to a singularity has a habit of losing most of what was there before, but one thing is known to have survived from the first ever universe. and you just posted it

[johnny]

+K Micko, good joke too

[TwoPlAnKs]

a nice little quote from mr twoplanks that i think is appropriate here too

there is a theory about the big bang being caused by gravity gradually pulling the entire universe together into one black hole, a mass so dense that it is somehow forced to expand. some say the universe has expanded and contracted like this for all eternity. currently it is expanding, but black holes are forming and gradually pulling mass together into dense portions. black holes swallow eachother, and if that happened for ever then eventually all matter could be reduced to a singularity revealing some other fundamental force to make it all pop out again. reducing things to a singularity has a habit of losing most of what was there before, but one thing is known to have survived from the first ever universe. and you just posted it

i agree, very profoundly put i might add

+K Micko, good joke too

*cough*

[johnny]

Yeah, you too

[flanflinger]

K+ message to Twoplanks, you get the K here my good man ( micko69 that chubby fooker can fook orf )

[Robbo]

So Ethel was in the black hole then???

[GameKing]

So Ethel was in the black hole then???

well at least your joke ain`t in the HOS my fucker is

[the.insane]

a nice little quote from mr twoplanks that i think is appropriate here too

there is a theory about the big bang being caused by gravity gradually pulling the entire universe together into one black hole, a mass so dense that it is somehow forced to expand. some say the universe has expanded and contracted like this for all eternity. currently it is expanding, but black holes are forming and gradually pulling mass together into dense portions. black holes swallow eachother, and if that happened for ever then eventually all matter could be reduced to a singularity revealing some other fundamental force to make it all pop out again. reducing things to a singularity has a habit of losing most of what was there before, but one thing is known to have survived from the first ever universe. and you just posted it

they must have some good sh*t in liverpool, where can i get a decent £20 bag for tonight?