Putting your foot in it

**karlos130** · 2nd June 2006

Right then whos ever said the wrong thing and just wanted to crawl into a ball and scream?

Another post remined me of this "Foot in the mouth" i did last year ..here goes
I used to work with a lad who, was shall i say was unlucky with the ladies.Whenever he met a lass, within 2 weeks he was proposing etc etc.
He met a girl from Scotland within 6 months he left our work and moved up there with her, he was due to marry her etc I went on holiday some 3 weeks later and when i came back to work,I was walking down the office and who should be there,the lad thats moved to scotland to get married.Knowing his luck with the ladies i said to him laughing whats up m8 she left you already? then came the bombshell
He said no she Died....

fook me i didnt know what to say.
But then to make matters worse he then continued to tell me the whole story of what happened which took about 15 minutes.
For 15 minutes i just wanted to curl up in a ball.people in the office that knew what had happened to him and had heard me say this to him were cracking up behind him and they watched every minute of my suffering.

I know its a sad occasion and not really laughing at this lad but laughing at myself for saying it.Even now when i think of it i cringe

Anyone else got any howlers?

**Roach-Rampino** · 2nd June 2006

When I was about 15 a bunch of us were at a party round some girls who we didn't know's house. It was the usual scenario, parents away, free house, loads of little fuckers pissed up on Strongbow (although my tipple at the time was Tennants Extra, black cans). It was pretty lame and nothing much going on so my pal decides for a laugh to come running into the room saying to the girls who lived there "Shit! quick, your dad's home!" to which the girl looked confused and said "what do you mean?" My mate continued with his ruse "your dad, he's just pulled up outside!".....silence fell on the room, music stopped and the girl said "but....but my dad died 5 years ago?".

My mate stood there for a few seconds and then went out of the room and into the bog, where he locked himself in, climbed out of the window and went home.

**Epiphany** · 2nd June 2006

Originally Posted by Roach-Rampino

When I was about 15 a bunch of us were at a party round some girls who we didn't know's house. It was the usual scenario, parents away, free house, loads of little fuckers pissed up on Strongbow (although my tipple at the time was Tennants Extra, black cans). It was pretty lame and nothing much going on so my pal decides for a laugh to come running into the room saying to the girls who lived there "Shit! quick, your dad's home!" to which the girl looked confused and said "what do you mean?" My mate continued with his ruse "your dad, he's just pulled up outside!".....silence fell on the room, music stopped and the girl said "but....but my dad died 5 years ago?".

My mate stood there for a few seconds and then went out of the room and into the bog, where he locked himself in, climbed out of the window and went home.

buahaha

Thats horrendous! He ignored the wedding crasher rule of "never commit to a relative if you don't know if they're alive"

DB · 2nd June 2006

I started a factory job many many years ago, the guy who was training me on a machine seemed like a nice enough bloke. After about 2 hours a woman (the ugliest mother fucker youve ever seen) came walking past, face like a kicked to fuck cabbage, fat, spotty (you get the picture), as she passed i looked at her and said to the lad training me "hey look at that, you know some poor (unt has to shag that" and he replied " Yeh me its my wife."

I felt like a right (unt and just wanted to shrivvel up, but i just said "are sorry m8" and carried on with the job.

**burner1** · 2nd June 2006

Was at me sisters house having a big piss up and she had a yank mate, who was the most annoying gobby arrogant 'done it all' type you ever met, no one could get a word in with her mouth going... I went up stairs for a piss, then seen my niece in the bedroom with the little ones, I went in and said "That f'kin yank gobshite is getting on everyone tits downstairs".. my niece looked shocked at me, then pointed to the baby monitor, the other half of it was in the room downstairs where everyone is drinking. It was definately more subdued when I got back there

**flanflinger** · 2nd June 2006

my best one ever was when I was in the army. I was in the mill in SA and I was casualy chatting to a lad from runcorn in the laundry whilst doing me clothes, he'd been tapping this slappa from back in London and I said, "just out of interest that jerry is your bird now isnt she?". To which he replied "no", so DD in true squaddie fashion said "ahhh well its for the best everyone in Cavalry Barracks was hanging out of her, even I had a go when I was bored". To which he replied "she's not me bird, She's my wife". Disco grabs soggy washing from machine and goes "dry enough" and scarpers. Still piss meself to this day when I think about it.

Good job this guy was a battalion biff who worked in the officers mess, if he had been one of the boxing team I'd have been fucked.

**burner1** · 2nd June 2006

Originally Posted by flanflinger

my best one ever was when I was in the army. I was in the mill in SA and I was casualy chatting to a lad from runcorn in the laundry whilst doing me clothes, he'd been tapping this slappa from back in London and I said, "just out of interest that jerry is your bird now isnt she?". To which he replied "no", so DD in true squaddie fashion said "ahhh well its for the best everyone in Cavalry Barracks was hanging out of her, even I had a go when I was bored". To which he replied "she's not me bird, She's my wife". Disco grabs soggy washing from machine and goes "dry enough" and scarpers. Still piss meself to this day when I think about it.

Good job this guy was a battalion biff who worked in the officers mess, if he had been one of the boxing team I'd have been fucked.

.. Lovely mate.. we used to get the slappers coming to the naafi bar to get laid.. this new lad joined us and he had his eye on one of them, so I shouted over to her "oi jane, one of the lads wanna shag ya"..she looked back over to us, had a look at us all and with a big smile she said "Which one?" lovely girls