Thailand - Do's/Don'ts

[andy768]

I'm off to Thailand in 3 weeks time for 3 weeks. Are there any good sites with a list of places to see/avoid whilst over there? We are based in Bangkok but do not mind a bit of travelling around from island to island if need be.
Thanks

[andy768]

Anyone? I have the lonely planet guide, am I best sticking to that?

[Midnight_Toker]

Did us proud while we were there mate. Places definately worth checking out.... The markets for bargains galore, Banyan Tree Hotel in Bangkok (Vertigo Bar on 59th floor and I dare you to not brick it up there) and any of the surrounding islands.

Do's : Be courteous to everyone, they have a "face system" where being insulted is like being kicked in the balls. Haggle for prices (but don't take the piss). Smile, they're gonna smile at you. Have an open mind. Go and see the "ping pong show" but expect to tip people for simply being there, those places are giant money suckers for the people that work there. Always tip, but be polite and refuse when enough's enough (don't just say "fuck off you fucking leech" for instance). Try the local cuisine, this includes the street vendors (it might look like it would kill you but you see the locals eating there all the time, if it was dodgy, they'd avoid it like the plague), you'll find that you can eat at restaurants for buttons too, a 3 course meal (including beers) will set you back about 800thb each (about a tenner).

Don'ts : Insult people or raise your voice to them, the face system is a right fucker and they can make you disappear a lot quicker than you can make them. Take the piss out of the king, you'll see portraits and stuff around, don't point and laugh (this includes bank notes). Expect to not be ripped off, if they can, they will so be aware. Cross the street without looking both ways (yeah, a given, but the traffic there is crazy and they WILL knock you down). Wai (putting your hands together in a praying motion at your lips and bowing), they'll do it to you all the time, but if you do it back, you're a twat for some reason. Go shopping in Patpong Night Market, it's a total rip-off and a tourist trap (although the guy selling fucking stun guns is worth checking out, he's a complete nutcase!)

Hope this helps. Enjoy your hol mate (I Know you will)

[andy768]

Thanks, this was just what I was after. A few people have said how cheap the markets are, any rough idea of the prices?

[{{909}}]

id also add, if your sense of direction isnt so good, travel everywhere with a friend, i found the place very confusing since my sense of direction is terrible.

Always try and agree on a taxi fare before you set off, taxi drivers there are cunts for ripping you off at every given oportunity and always try to have roughly the right amount. I haggled with one driver at a price, agreed at 300baht to take us to the hotel, only had a 500, gave him that and that was the last i saw of the cunt.

Dont fall for the 3 minute free show trick in the clubs either, people on the streets will offer you this and then lead you to a club where your then "asked" to buy the "girls" a drink, which ended up costing my mate 45 quid and all he got to see was an old fat hag pulling some beads out her flange.

[Midnight_Toker]

Dont fall for the 3 minute free show trick in the clubs either, people on the streets will offer you this and then lead you to a club where your then "asked" to buy the "girls" a drink, which ended up costing my mate 45 quid and all he got to see was an old fat hag pulling some beads out her flange.

Classic stuff!! Me and the missus checked out a show (did some haggling with the cheeky chappie on the street to agree a price) and were pounced on by 2 girls each as soon as we sat down. A pretty agressive little troll of a man pretty much demanded we buy the girls a drink (150thb each if I remember rightly (£2.25 or thereabouts)) , so I told him to take 400thb and not bring the drinks over (the girls get a commision on drinks and they don't fucking drink them anyway). This was satisfactory it seemed and they left us alone after that (although a Japanese businessman came walking on his own in and had a table FULL of drinks within minutes). When you order a drink, the very nice Thai waitress will fetch it for you then (in our experience) the horrible troll creature will come and take the money off you, demand that you tip the waitress and then demand that you tip him too (for WHAT exactly??). Cheeky cunt, but you can just tell it could get nasty if you disrupt the status quo so make sure you have money for drinks AND THEN SOME. As for the show, well 909 pretty much summed it up, munters pull beads out of their minge, then some hankies (in true clown's pocket fashion) and maybe fire some ping pong balls into a glass (not as impressive as it sounds). In my experience though I had a girl shoot a balloon out of my hand with a blow pipe (and she didn't use her mouth), this was pretty cool, and probably worth the £40 or so we paid in total that night (we went drinking in Soi Cowboy first).

Psx is right, the markets generally sell poor quality tat, although you should really go and have a look anyway, the market in Chatachuk(sp) at night is well worth a look round. MBK is the place to really shop, but get there early and make sure you wear comfy shoes (and have lots of money(although £100 IS lots of money there)). Me and the old stick spent nearly 10 hours there and she didn't cover all of it. The floor(s) that deal with electronics and computers are an adventure on their own and there's a shopping mall part and a kind of ad hoc market part and each make British malls look small. The food hall is also a treat, but they use a weird voucher system, so don't just walk up to the Japanese noodle guy and wave cash at him, because he'll probably call you a stupid farang (in Japanese) and send you to the voucher desk (the unused vouchers are exchanged back to cash at another desk).

Phew, above all mate just go and enjoy yourself, we were only there for 4 days, so we probably saw fuck all in comparison to what there is there, but we were very busy for those 4 days and we took in a lot of sights and sounds and smells (oh I forgot to mention the smells...).

[Midnight_Toker]

Don't ever use a Zebra crossing if you see one as they will run you over

Very true, it's Frogger in real life, find an overhead walkway, there are plenty. Also, we saw a wrecked car left on the middle embankment of the road. It had been there for a while (maybe months). The mangled wreckage was probably just a reminder that the roads are dangerous.

Don't ever go to a massage palour, show or whatever that a taxi driver is pushing to you

Don't know about this one. If the taxi driver is trying to convince you, then yeah, don't touch with a shitty stick, but on our last day I took (after some convincing) a foot massage (1 hour for 200thb (£3)) from one of the places on the main road at the end of Soi Patpong 3 (the main ping pong and sucky fucky drag and the place with the market at night). I forget the name of the road, but it's one of the main streets around there and the massage was incredible. Not done by sultry temptresses (the women were closer to 50) but really professional, relaxing and just the ticket after the mammoth shopping trip the day before.

[{{909}}]

the only thing id argue with BB is that you should try a tuktuk atleast once, its like alton towers without the 90mins of que
the motorbike taxis, fcuk me! they wanted to take me and my suitcase and a large sportsbag on one little scooter, on top of that the driver didnt even know where our hotel was (this was in pataya) turned out it was a 30minute drive, im glad i backed out of that trip

Chatuchuk is the weekend only market isnt it? if so its supposed to be absolutely huge, if you do go there, or anywhere in BKK, you should be vary careful of pickpockets too.

the markets were all tat tho, ill agree, theyre ok for stuff like shorts and maybe fake thsirts, but avoid anything with a printed logo as it will be ruined after a few washes. a few shops have 2 set areas, shite goods and total shite goods.

[andy768]

Thanks for all the advice guys, I think I'll print this thread out and take it with me!

[dan288]

dont fook the lady boys, you'll only get a rash

[andy768]

dont fook the lady boys

Sound advice.

[Midnight_Toker]

dont fook the lady boys, you'll only get a rash

Speaking from experience I see....

As for not going to Patpong, you should walk through at least once while you're there, even stop off at one of the pubs along the way. Just make sure its a pub and not a rip-off lady bar.. Patpong is hillarious, you can't walk less than 2 foot without someone trying to sell you a fake Rolex or asking you if you want to see "ping pong shoooooowwwwwwww? Banana shooooowwwww?" A lot like Amsterdam's red light district where you'll be asked "ecstacy coca1ne?" every 2 seconds.

[andy768]

A lot like Amsterdam's red light district where you'll be asked "ecstacy coca1ne?" every 2 seconds.

And Ibiza where the lucky-lucky men constantly calling you Del Boy.

[andy768]

Another question, how widely accepted are Switch cards over there? I have a Mastercard but would rather leave it at home.

[DJAd]

Get a Nationwide account if you can. No charge for cash withdraws. I had a Barclays card and it was shit. Worked in the ATM's but only aboyt 1 in 5 times. You can get cash from the bank, but remember to take passport.

Also save 500baht when you leave the Air port as they get you on the tax when you go!!

Where abouts in Thailand are you heading?

[andy768]

We have a hotel in Bangkok booked for 3 weeks, but as it was so cheap, it doesn't really matter if we don't stay in it for the duration. Plan on going to Phuket and Ko Phangnan within the 3 weeks as well.

[Midnight_Toker]

Also save 500baht when you leave the Air port as they get you on the tax when you go!!

Oh yeah... Forgot about that one.....

I took my Maestro card with me, but only to use at ATMs. Got charged shitloads for using it though... Bangkok's pretty modern, so they'll probably take cards in most shops, but probably not in anywhere like MBK or Chatuchuk..

[Tattooed Freak]

Catch a flight to Koh Samui for a few days. It is beautiful this time of year, you might get the odd rain shower. The weekend market I found to be the best, can't remember where it was but I got there via the tube system and it was well worth it.

Have a great time, Thailand is amazing.

[andy768]

Get a Nationwide account if you can. No charge for cash withdraws. I had a Barclays card and it was shit. Worked in the ATM's but only aboyt 1 in 5 times. You can get cash from the bank, but remember to take passport.

It seems every year the no charges on the Nationwide card comes up and I never get round to doing something about it. Does anyone know how long it would take from start to finish to open an account with them?

[DJAd]

Not that long! Cant give much more help than that. I went in about a week before I left and did all the shit. Just had to wait for my PIN & card. It arrived while I was away!!

I would try and get one mate. I was there with a good old Barclays Visa and had loads of trouble. ATMs were justing kicking it out.

My friend had Nationwide & was ok all trip. Then my other friend flew over and has the same card as me & got problems also.

Both accounts had money and worked fine if the card was swiped, but only every so often in ATM's.

I just used to get about 5000 baht at a time and then a trib to the bank when needed.

Where bouts you going in Thailand?