Close

Results 1 to 3 of 3
  1. #1
    DF VIP Member magic1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Westmidlands
    Posts
    387
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked:        0
    Karma Level
    324

    Default Priest & Vodka !

    A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak.
    After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
    The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit,
    I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
    So next Sunday he took the monsignor's advice.
    At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink.
    He proceeded to talk up a storm.

    Upon his return to his office after the mass, he found the following note on the door:

    1) Sip the vodka, don't gulp.
    2) There are 10 commandments, not 12.
    3) There are 12 disciples, not 10.
    4) Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
    5) Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
    6) We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
    7) The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the spook.
    8) David slew Goliath; he did not kick the $*&! out of him.
    9) When David was hit by a rock and was knocked off his donkey, don't say he was stoned off his ass.
    10)We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T."
    11)When Jesus broke the bread at the last supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me".
    12)The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry".
    13)The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, Yeah God.
    14)Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter's not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy's.
    ____________________________
    Beers on the house where are those ladders !!
    ____________________________

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member super mike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Location
    hereford
    Posts
    6,082
    Thanks
    295
    Thanked:        252
    Karma Level
    701

  3. #3
    DF MaSter johny48's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    50
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked:        0
    Karma Level
    241

    Funny Re: Priest & Vodka !


Similar Threads

  1. The Stingy Priest
    By ibobsy in forum The Comedy Club
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 23rd May 2003, 10:37 PM
  2. Priest and the Rabbi
    By WTD in forum The Comedy Club
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 17th April 2003, 08:51 PM
  3. Priest Joke (Adult)
    By ^_^ in forum The Comedy Club
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 7th April 2003, 11:49 AM
  4. Priest and cocks
    By wadgey in forum The Comedy Club
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 21st January 2003, 11:28 AM
  5. Sipping Vodka
    By Mr Olympia in forum The Comedy Club
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 18th December 2002, 12:51 PM

Social Networking Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •