Retirement Bonus

[lote_tree]

The Pentagon recently found it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.

The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.

The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a check for $960,000.

When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man ... "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."

The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice checks the previous two generals had received. The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine, but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring.

The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop the pants. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back. "My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?"

The general replied, "In Vietnam."

[Shambles]

Quite possibly the oldest anecdote on the net.

Nay, I correct myself.

THE oldest anecdote on the net.

[lote_tree]

Yeah ok. Would you like to post the link here then please. Proof that it has already been posted on this site. If it has, then I hummbly stand corrected and I would naturally understand if you dock me a precious post. Kinda getting tired of this petty nonesense over postage counts.

Oh shoot, im sorry, ur probably gonna dock me this one aswell.

[cyprus]

http://www.digital-forums.com/showthread.php?t=82022
http://www.digital-forums.com/showthread.php?t=80259
There you go you (I felt guilty coz he's a noob)

[slartibartfast]

Ooooooooo.

[marcode]

was shit then, still shit now.

and what do you mean dock you another post, if youve been docked before, its merely cos the crap you are posting has been moved to the HOS, where posts do not count towards your total..

no-one here gives 2 fucks about postcounts, shite posts and spam tho.. thats a different matter.

dont take it personally...

[Shambles]

The thing is, lote_tree, that your recent posts suggest that you're a n00b to the 'net. I'm sure you're not, but we've all seen this stuff before, hence our "n00b post" replies

[4me2]

Just had a PM from twoplanks saying he doesnt get the joke .

[lote_tree]

The thing is, lote_tree, that your recent posts suggest that you're a n00b to the 'net.

I'm certainly a noob to meeting petty moderators that come out with erroneous statements like this one.

[QUOTE]and what do you mean dock you another post, if youve been docked before, its merely cos the crap you are posting has been moved to the HOS, where posts do not count towards your total..[/QUOTE]

no-one here gives 2 fucks about postcounts, shite posts and spam tho.. thats a different matter.

Contradiction if I ever saw one. Secondly, shit posts according to whom exactly? You? There are 57 thousand other people out there and may be some of them might disagree with you there pal. The world doesn't just revolve around your model of the world; there are other points of view to consider. Don't take it personally.

I understand that moderators here have to back each other because hey, I’m "the new guy". What amazes me is the unclassy way in which u guys have managed to handle this all. Most of the moderaters here are acting like sheep and non has had the stregth to give a different point of view. If you noticed any of my other posts you will come to realize that post counts mean jack to me.

You have nothing here to offer me that i don't already have access to anyway. I was recommended this place by a friend of mine because she told me about the people here. I genreally like to meet new people, can't say that about some here.

Well now that I’ve got a taste of the calibre of people here, (and that doesn't mean everyone), I don't think I'll waste my time posting here again. I generally value my time and like to engage with people that have some commonsense.

I request that you take me off your system please. Thanks.

Ciao

[marcode]

I'm certainly a noob to meeting petty moderators that come out with erroneous statements like this one.

and what do you mean dock you another post, if youve been docked before, its merely cos the crap you are posting has been moved to the HOS, where posts do not count towards your total..

...no-one here gives 2 fucks about postcounts, shite posts and spam tho.. thats a different matter.

Contradiction if I ever saw one.

its not a contradiction since the majority of members do not place great importance on people's post count as i stated, look at the new members taking part. those posting good content and having a laugh, are all welcomed and encouraged to post.. they also take moved duplicate threads in good humour..

the hos is the area where we move spam, rubbish and dupe threads which are usually posted by spammers or folk like yourself...

that particular kind of content is not added towards peoples post count. otherwise the advanced permissions hack we use to keep certain areas of the forum as above board as possible and free of leechers would not work. if you take issue with that feel free to leave...

Secondly, shit posts according to whom exactly? You? There are 57 thousand other people out there and may be some of them might disagree with you there pal.

they've yet to post i see.. they are perfectly free to do so. if you think id ban somone because they didnt agree with my own opinion on a joke, then you are the petty one pal.

Ciao

cya.

[cyprus]

Second time in as many days you've basically been called a cunt marcode. Whats wrong with these people?

[slartibartfast]

You have nothing here to offer me that i don't already have access to anyway.

You don't seem to have the "dbox bootmanager" you were searching for when I looked at your profile.

Sorry to hear you're leaving.

Still, we can always use the search button and dig up a 4 year old joke from the comedy section occasionally and pretend you're still here.

[Midnight_Toker]

Awww I miss him..

Another chimp gone to place where all pre-pubecent know-it-alls end up...

Ta ta jumbo, we hardly knew ya!