Voted best joke in Ireland 2006

[4me2]

A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious".

Roland the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious." "Well done, Roland," says the teacher.

"Can anyone else try?"

Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's
a bug going round, and it's contagious." "Well done, Katie," says the
teacher.

"Anyone else?"

Little Irish Sean jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."

[Mobileman]

hmmmmmmmmmmmm
nearly as bad as

Two old drunks on their way home from the pub, were stumblin up the country road in near darkness, "Seamus, I think we've stumbled into the graveyard - look, I can see a stone here that says a man lived to 105!"

"Glory be Malarki, was it anybody we knew?"

"No, twas somebody named 'Miles from Dublin'"

[GameKing]

I didn`t see that one coming.

[cronus71]

[Kushty]

Prefer your one mobileman!

[StephenDon24]

I love shit jokes!

[Mobileman]

another crap irish joke alert.........

It is the Olympic men's figure skating. Out comes the Russian competitor, he skates around to some classical music in a slightly dull costume, performs some excellent leaps but without any great artistic feel for the music.

The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8: Russia 5.9: United States 5.5: Ireland 6.0

Next comes the American competitor in a sparkling stars and stripes costume, skating to some rock and roll music. He gets the crowd clapping, but is not technically as good as the Russian. He slightly misses landing a triple Salchow and loses the center during a spin. But, artistically, it is a more satisfying performance.

The Judges' scores read: Britain 5.8: Russia 5.5: United States 5.9: Ireland 6.0

Finally out comes the Irish competitor wearing a tatty old donkey jacket, with his skates tied over his wellies. He reaches the ice, trips straight away and bangs his nose which starts bleeding. He tries to get up, staggers a few paces then slips again. He spends his entire 'routine' getting up then falling over again. Finally he crawls off the ice a tattered and bleeding mess.

The Judges' scores read: Britain 0.0: Russia 0.0: United States 0.0: Ireland 6.0

The other 3 judges turn to the Irish judge and demand in unison, "How the hell can you give that mess 6.0?!"

To which the Irish judge replies "You've gotta remember, it's damn slippery out there."

off to the hos with this one

[GameKing]

PMSL at the mental picture of this.

Finally out comes the Irish competitor wearing a tatty old donkey jacket, with his skates tied over his wellies

[d3xt0r]

haha

wasnt that bad of a joke