Anti Chain Mail Chain Mail
Just received this in an email...little chuckle as its against all the chain mails but its still a chain email!
My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year............ <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o></o
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I must send my thanks to whoever fowarded / sent me the one about rat poo in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing. <o
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Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. <o
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. <o
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I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the £15,000,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program. <o
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I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking ou for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish. <o
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I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers. <o
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I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day. <o
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Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes. <o
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Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains. <o
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I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car so A serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up. <o
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I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a sample and rob me. <o
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I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" /><st1:country-region w:st="on">Jamaica</st1:country-region>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">Uganda</st1:country-region>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">Singapore</st1:country-region> and <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1
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Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum. <o
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And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg. <o
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If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back-side, causing you to grow causing numerous hairy humps and bumps. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's third time removed 2nd cousin's beautician. <o
Have a wonderful day! <o
By the way....A South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who have infrequent sexual activity always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse. <o
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late..<o
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