I'd hate to come between you two........or would i??
You must be a parkin ticket.....you've got FINE written all over you.....
Hi, my names Bond...Uni Bond...I'm here to fill your crack
Oi love, come and sit on my lap, and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up
If I had to give you marks out of ten, I would deffo give you one!
Baby, I'm no Fred Flintstone but tonight i can make you're bedrock
If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
Your not the best looking girl in here but beauty is a light switch away
Wanna play army? I'll lie down and you can blow the hell outta me?
If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
(Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.
Baby, your feet must been hurting cos you been running through my mind ALL day
They're the whitest teeth I ever wanted to cum across
Have you got 20p? Phone your mam and tell her you wont be home tonight!
I was admiring you from a distance and suddenly I thought WOW you'd look really good on my face.
how much for anal?
they are without doubt the best pair of tits I have ever seen! Can I nuzzle my head between em?
Hi, I'm a famous actor, with several large parts under my belt
Girl you must be from another planet! Because your ass is out of this world!!
Do you come here often? Or would you rather come somewhere else?
What's pink and likes sex?
I'm on the pull for some sweet smellin hairy pie tonight... if I don't have any luck, I'll be coming back for you
Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
Get your coat, you've pulled.
Nice shoes. Wanna fuck?
Do U like chicken? Suck this it's foul
Can I flirt with you?
Put your crash helmet on, you're going through the head board.
You. me, whipped cream, strawberries, handcuffs. Any questions?
I'm easy. Are you?
Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
You are just truly stunningly beautiful! Can you cook and clean too?
What's the main export of brazil ? Coffee? Yeah OK, my place or yours?
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me? (or Blow me if I'm wrong ....)
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together
Would you sleep with a complete stranger? No .... Hi, U can call me Hippie
lets be real,who else is guna offer YOU a fuck
Nice legs, what time do they open....
"go up to a bird look her up and down really obviously, making sure she knows you are doing it, be really thorough, looking at her feet, going round the back of her, maybe even kneel down and look at the back of her legs, or if you're really cheeky ask her to turn round while you're looking her up and down, all the time be looking really intently like you are searching for a spec of dust on her or something.
She will be bound to ask you what you think you are doing.
Your resposne should be that as a matter of saftey before you go for a ride you like to thoroughly inspect your vehicle first, and now that you are satisfied ask her if you can get in"
"Walk up to a girl, hand her a towel. She should look at you and ask what you gave her a towel for, tell her its so she can dust her knees off when shes finished."
when a big breasted girl is dancing near you:
YOU: "hey love, your cheque has bounced!"
HER: "eh?"
YOU: "I was chequeing out your tits and they bounced"
HER: "Excellent chat up line mate, please cum back to mine and spunk all over my bouncy boobs!"
YOU: "TAXI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
1.) Male: Haven't I seen you some place before?
Female: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
2.) Male: Is this seat empty?
Female: Yes, and mine will be if you sit down.
Man: because you'll be on your knees sucking my cock?
3.) Male: Your place or mine?
Female: Both. You go to yours and I'll go mine.
4.) Male: So, what do you do for a living.
Female: I'm a female impersonator.
5.) Male: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Female: DO NOT ENTER.
6.) Male: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Female: Unfertilized.
Man: I'll cum on your face then..
7.) Male: Your body's like a temple
Female: Sorry, there are no services today.
8.) Male: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Female: But would you please stay there?
9.) Male: If I saw you naked, I'd die happy.
Female: If I saw you naked, I'd die laughing.
Does this smell of chloroform?
Will you sit on my face and let me weigh you?
fancy a fuck an a pizza? what's wrong? don't you like pizza?
fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name guinevere?
If you can guess how old I am I'll let you fuck me tonight........... close enough...
there's 256 bones in the human body... would you like another?
I oughta tell you whapeople have been saying behind your back...... nice ass!!
im a panel beater by trade, specialise in back door bashing
hi, a dose of my spunk on your boat race wont half help clean up those spots, your place, mine or the bogs?
Worst Chat-up Lines!
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