I used to be a window cleaner and while I was cleaning the bedroom windows on a house one day the woman of the house walked into the bedroom stark bollock naked apart from a small cat mask on that covered her eyes and nose. She mounted the bed on all 4's and began licking her clenched fist. Then, with no word of warning some bloke, i'm assuming her husband, files in dressed as Dick Whittington, complete with stick over his shoulder, on the end of which was a handkerchief containing what looked like a selection of fruit.

The woman then started working her small tightly clenched fist against her now dripping slot. Before I could wring out my chamois she'd plunged her whole fist into her gaping snatch. Dick then unbuttoned his tunic and using the stick, began hitting her backside quite vigorously. By this stage I'd finished with the initial wash and started to clean off the excess soapy water with my windscreen wiper. As I did so and with the obvious distraction I caught the window sill and took a chunk out of the woodwork. I quickly finished off and fu(ked off pretty sharpish. I've never been back just in case they ask me to cough up for the damage.

So, No.32, I'm sorry for the damage to the window sill and I hope you found another window cleaner.