Advance confession

[Anonymous]

My missus is away tonight and my mate was popping over and see my new av set up. But I've lied and told him I'm not feeling too good and he will have to come another time.

Truth is however I am planning a 50"-plasma, surround sound assisted, luxury, uber-wank! I'm going to strip off, dim the lights, take the phone off the hook, close the blinds, put on a Durex Gold and beat one out over some porn played on my new plasma.

[ant3b]

nice!! one!! go for it!

[Nikki]

nice one. dont forget to mop up afterwards

[Mickey]

stick on a pair of marrigolds for that extra touch

[wizard1974uk]

Just wait for the missus to return in mid-stroke

[Charona]

your mate might pop round anyway to make you feel better with a 6 pack

[Anonymous]

stick on a pair of marrigolds for that extra touch

Rubber on rubber makes my teeth go funny

Just wait for the missus to return in mid-stroke

She's over 120 miles away, so no fear of that.

your mate might pop round anyway to make you feel better with a 6 pack

Good point, I'm going to booby trap the porch, Home Alone style.

[BertRoot]

Buhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Krazy!

[Freddy]

Putting a mate off for a wank

[Anonymous]

Putting a mate off for a wank

It's not just any old wank mate. This one is long overdue, I've sat watching that plasma for weeks, my missus ever present, without getting a chance for some "me time" to watch some 1080i grot.

The wait is over.

[Anonymous]

Done

[BertRoot]

A posh wank so posh it almost had the Midas touch. A sterling effort sir. You spent now, smoking a hamlet?

[wizard1974uk]

So did your mate turn up with a 6 pack?

[Anonymous]

A posh wank so posh it almost had the Midas touch. A sterling effort sir. You spent now, smoking a hamlet?

I've cracked open a Mouton Rothschild '82 that I'd been saving for a special day...

So did your mate turn up with a 6 pack?

I think I heard someone banging on the door but I was too far gone to pay any attention to it.

[tips]

buahahahahah. What a quality thread.

[B B Leo]

should have went to the supermarket and go the durex tingle then put the condom on
h**p://www.shopdurex.com/product_info.php?product_id=38

[Kushty]

You should have just told your mate to come over 5 minutes after your bird left. Could have had everything!

[Anonymous]

Numero deux

[Anonymous]

The latest plasma screens resist semen stains to a very high degree as I can personally atest.

I like to scream out the word "rumplestiltskin" as I chuck my muck about the living room although my mum has to leave the room at this point.

Good job and well done sir.

[doughboy]

Well I hope it was worth it you bastard..I've been freezing my nuts off banging on your front door for the past hour now....