Joke Quiz!

Thread: Joke Quiz!

  1. russbeer's Avatar

    russbeer said:

    Default Joke Quiz!

    Here's a new idea!

    A joke is told minus the punchline. Whoever posts the punchline sets up the next joke!

    If it works we should have a great raft of quality jokes to go at

    I'll start with....



    Whats grey and sits at the end of your bed taking the piss out of you?
     
  2. prezzy's Avatar

    prezzy said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    A kidney dialysis machine

    another shit joke. . .
    whats long and full of semen?

     
  3. russbeer's Avatar

    russbeer said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    a submarine.




    I went shopping for the wifes xmas present today, I bought her a pair of slippers and a vibrator...
     
  4. Ganty's Avatar

    Ganty said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.

    I had a friend who was in love with 2 schoolbags...
     
  5. TheFincher's Avatar

    TheFincher said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    Quote Originally Posted by Ganty View Post
    If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go fuck herself.

    I had a friend who was in love with 2 schoolbags...
    He's bisatchel.

    What's 60 foot long and smells of piss..........
     
  6. russbeer's Avatar

    russbeer said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    Quote Originally Posted by TheFincher View Post
    What's 60 foot long and smells of piss..........
    a conga line in an old folks home.





    A Neutron goes in to a pub and asks for a beer, once poured he says "How Much?" the bartender replies....
     
  7. coin-op's Avatar

    coin-op said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    Quote Originally Posted by russbeer View Post
    a conga line in an old folks home.





    A Neutron goes in to a pub and asks for a beer, once poured he says "How Much?" the bartender replies....

    For you......no charge.


    How do you get down from an elephant?
     
  8. russbeer's Avatar

    russbeer said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    thats something to do with goose feathers that one. I never understood that joke til i was about 25!!



    What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
     
  9. grrrd's Avatar

    grrrd said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    Quote Originally Posted by russbeer View Post
    thats something to do with goose feathers that one. I never understood that joke til i was about 25!!



    What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

    A quarter pounder with cheese




    Q: What do you call a smart blonde?
     
  10. MonkeySputum's Avatar

    MonkeySputum said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    A golden retriever.



    What's the difference between a prostitute and a cocaine dealer?
     
  11. freon600a's Avatar

    freon600a said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.



    If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?
     
  12. bbshark's Avatar

    bbshark said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    The swallow.

    Cool Teenage Martian: I was at a party on Mercury last night.

    His Friend: Was it any good?

    Cool Teenage Martian: No! It was really boring.

    His Friend: How come?
    bbshark. The Member with the first ever DF Fine

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  13. I Black Belt's Avatar

    I Black Belt said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    there was no atmosphere..

    two fish in a tank..
     
  14. B.I.G.'s Avatar

    B.I.G. said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    One says to the other "do you know how to drive this?"

    Two flies on a piece of shit
    one farts the other one says....
     
  15. I Black Belt's Avatar

    I Black Belt said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    Do you mind - i'm eating..

    A fridge, a woman and a toaster.

    which is the odd one out?
     
  16. bbshark's Avatar

    bbshark said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    A Toaster,, cos the others all leak when F^@ked !


    man phones his office one Monday morning and says "I'm sorry, I can't come into work this morning; I'm sick."

    "Just how sick are you?" asks his boss.
    bbshark. The Member with the first ever DF Fine

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  17. I Black Belt's Avatar

    I Black Belt said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    Well i've just shagged my sister,

    urghh says his boss

    See-- told you i was sick said the guy.

    Terrorists have now targeted tins of alphabetti spaghetti for random bomb placement...
     
  18. pete252's Avatar

    pete252 said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    If these go off it could spell disaster.

    English man says I know how to satisfy my wife, massage her all over with baby oil and she rises 6 inches above the bed in sheer ecstacy, Scotsman says I smear her all over with seedless raspberry yoghurt and lick it off - she rises 12 inches off the bed in sheer ecstacy - Irishman says "Fook that - I go out and drink 12 pints of Guiness, take her roughly from behind, wipe my dick on the curtains....
    What if the Hokey Cokey "IS" what it's all about?
     
  19. I Black Belt's Avatar

    I Black Belt said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    and she hits the fucking roof.

    Guy walks into a pub with a giraffe and they both get pissed.
    on the way out, the giraffe collapses and the guy steps over it.
    the landlord says "you can't leave that lying there"...
     
  20. russbeer's Avatar

    russbeer said:

    Default Re: Joke Quiz!

    its not a lion its a giraffe.




    i can't think of one at the mo. Its up for grabs if someone wants to post one