An atom walks into a bar...

[TwoPlAnKs]

An atom walks into a bar. He approaches the barman and asks, "Has anybody handed in an electron?"

Barman replies, "Not that I've seen, are you sure you lost it in here?"

"I'm positive."

With that a neutron walks in and asks how much it'll be for a pint, the barman says "ah, for you - no charge."

The neutron asks the atom how he is and the atom replies "Terrible, last night I lost an electron and today my car broke down. I took it to see a quantum mechanic, and when I asked how much it would cost to fix he said 'I'm not sure - I'll have to look at it.' Bloody typical. Yourself?"

"Not bad mate - am going to take part in an experiment later, getting cooled down to -273 degrees celsius. Some folk think I'll not be able to move but I'm sure I'll be 0K."

Then a pair of Fermions walked in and sat at a table nearby. Fancying a bit of action the guys wander over and offer them a drink, one said "I'll have what she's having"

As the drinks keep flowing they notice they haven't seen their mate, the photon, in a while. The barman pipes up "Ah, he's in a prism. Was caught speeding. He is trying to appeal though - apparently they knew how fast he was going but not where he was."

[bbshark]

well erm yes, rather.

[blaggard]

boom boom

[DJ OD]

WTF?!




DJ OD

[inspectercoley]

ah jokes, I get jokes...

[ss30]

Is it a funny joke?

[Roach-Rampino]

Shocking.

Spoiler:

And off to the HOS with this howler.

[EnTiTy]

Actually i thought it was funny lol
you canny understand it unless you know what an atom is made of and its charges etc
the photon is light and speed of light is constant does not change so they knew how fast he was going not where he was, nothing is faster than the speed of light

[blaggard]

Errr...I understood it, it just wasn't funny on any level, if it had stopped stopped after "I'm positive." it would have been just vaguely amusing.

[Greyfox]

In its rightful place!

[lithho]

Actually i thought it was funny lol
you canny understand it unless you know what an atom is made of and its charges etc
the photon is light and speed of light is constant does not change so they knew how fast he was going not where he was, nothing is faster than the speed of light

we all get it, next time you post are you gonna tell us all how to turn on a pc,
its just not a funny joke thats all

[casio]

i quite liked that one, and after reading the posts after it im not sure if thats a good thing or a bad one, the last line is funny though "they knew how fast he was going but not where he was"

[TwoPlAnKs]

Been a while since I've been in here :o

[Cenus_]

Actually i thought it was funny lol
you canny understand it unless you know what an atom is made of and its charges etc
the photon is light and speed of light is constant does not change so they knew how fast he was going not where he was, nothing is faster than the speed of light

Actually I believe it was refering to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle which says you can know either the speed of a particle or its position but not both at the same time.

[blaggard]

Been a while since I've been in here :o

It's your round!?

[blaggard]

Actually I believe it was refering to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle which says you can know either the speed of a particle or its position but not both at the same time.

Much funnier now

[TwoPlAnKs]

Actually I believe it was refering to the Heisenberg uncertainty principle which says you can know either the speed of a particle or its position but not both at the same time.

yes indeedy.

same goes for the quamtum mechanic bit, although thats a slightly contrived reference. you can see a very realistic version of steven hawking reading it out, which is definitely not some kid who has discovered microsoft sam on this youtube video:
YouTube - Stephen Hawking Joke

fermions are particles where no two can occupy the same quantum state - ie they wouldnt both drink the same thing

everything else pretty obvious and already posted, electrons have negative charge so losing one would leave a normally 0 charge atom a bit positive, neutrons have no charge. -273degC is roughly the temp that all of everything ceases to move, known as 0deg Kelvin, or 0K

[blaggard]

Just to cut through the confusion, THIS is a joke:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services.

He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

[blaggard]

And another
Doctor, last night I made a Freudian slip. I was having dinner with my mother-in-law and wanted to say: 'Could you please pass the butter?' But instead I said: 'You silly cow, you have completely ruined my life.'

[blaggard]

And a clever one:
TEXAN: "Where are you from?"

HARVARD GRAD: "I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions."

TEXAN: "OK - where are you from, jackass?"