Close

Results 1 to 19 of 19
  1. #1
    DF VIP Member
    beerman's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    29 Acacia Road
    Posts
    8,446
    Thanks
    1,080
    Thanked:        1,626
    Karma Level
    958

    Default Wanking Kills Bill

    I know there is already a thread on this topic but thought the quote I've highlighted in this report was quite funny. I thought you only went blind?


    http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Wor...hai_Police_Say

    David Carradine may have died accidentally from suffocation or heart failure during an auto-erotic sex act, according to Thai police.


    David Carradine may have died in a sex act gone wrong


    The Kung Fu and Kill Bill star was found with a noose around his neck and another rope around his genitals in a wardrobe in his hotel room in Bangkok.
    Police commander Lieutenant General Worapong Siewpreecha said it was unclear whether the 72-year-old killed himself or died from suffocation or heart failure due to ejaculation.
    "There was a rope tied around his neck and another rope tied at his sex organ, and the two ropes were tied together and hung in the closet," he said.
    "Under these circumstances we cannot be sure that he committed suicide but he may have died from masturbation."


    Flowers for Carradine in Hollywood

    A post-mortem is expected later while forensic police have already dusted Carradine's hotel room and are testing a drink found there.
    Forensic expert Porntip Rojanasunan said the death appeared to have been caused by an "auto-erotic accident".
    "It's not suicide or murder but he died ... after masturbation," he said.
    Initially, police said the death was being treated as a suspected suicide.
    Michael Hutchence, singer with Australian band INXS, died in similar circumstances in 1997.

    Sky News picture tributes to the great and good who died in 2009




    A maid found his naked body in a Sydney hotel room, where he had hanged himself with a leather belt.
    Carradine, who was filming in the Thai capital, had failed to appear for a meal with the film crew on Wednesday.
    His body was discovered by a hotel maid at the Park Nai Lert hotel the following morning.
    Police said there were no signs of a struggle or other suspicious circumstances.
    Carradine leaves a wife and three children.
    "His family is in shock," said Tiffany Smith, of Carradine's management firm, Binder & Associates.



    "They have the same belief we have. There was no way David did this to himself."
    Carradine was a member of a Hollywood acting family that included his father, character actor John Carradine, and brother Keith.
    He appeared in more than 100 feature films with such directors as Martin Scorcese, Ingmar Bergman and Hal Ashby.
    One of his prominent early film roles was as singer Woody Guthrie in Ashby's 1976 biopic Bound for Glory.
    He was perhaps most famous for his role as the fugitive half Chinese Shaolin monk Kwai Chang Caine in the 1970s western TV drama Kung Fu.

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member MercuryRises's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Surrey
    Posts
    2,208
    Thanks
    45
    Thanked:        24
    Karma Level
    406

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Quote Originally Posted by beerman View Post
    "Under these circumstances we cannot be sure that he committed suicide but he may have died from masturbation."
    not sure why, but this quote nearly had me in tears
    Drinkin' beer in the hot sun
    I fought the law and I won
    I fought the law and I won

  3. #3
    DF VIP Member flumperino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Isle of flumps
    Posts
    9,612
    Thanks
    521
    Thanked:        679
    Karma Level
    883

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    lol, wanking kills bill

    Shooooooo-ryuken!

  4. #4
    DF VIP Member BertRoot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Poppy Fields
    Posts
    23,955
    Thanks
    1,038
    Thanked:        2,059
    Karma Level
    2514

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Posted the suspicion about this yesterday. Unlucky, that posh a wank should always be done with a backup man in the room just in case.


  5. #5
    DF VIP Member
    Nibb's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Cymru
    Posts
    16,864
    Thanks
    554
    Thanked:        1,118
    Karma Level
    1744

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Quote Originally Posted by BertRoot View Post
    Posted the suspicion about this yesterday. Unlucky, that posh a wank should always be done with a backup man in the room just in case.
    Indeed...always organise a "wanking wingman"!
    "Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday � what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area"
    Karl Pilkington

  6. #6
    DF Admin Mr Olympia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    England
    Posts
    7,804
    Thanks
    477
    Thanked:        564
    Karma Level
    876

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Quote Originally Posted by Nibb View Post
    Indeed...always organise a "wanking wingman"!
    Quality...

  7. #7
    DF VIP Member
    tombott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Hereford
    Posts
    5,697
    Thanks
    507
    Thanked:        571
    Karma Level
    723

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Quote Originally Posted by Nibb View Post
    Indeed...always organise a "wanking wingman"!
    wankman we call it in the trade....
    Digital-Forums IRC Last.FM duckduckgo
    Guns don't kill people rappers do, I'm a fucking rapper and I might kill you.

  8. #8
    DF VIP Member DJ OD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    On da decks.
    Posts
    10,114
    Thanks
    1,008
    Thanked:        2,254
    Karma Level
    1105

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Someone should put it on Urban Dictionary

    Wanksman:

    Like a Banksman but for conducting difficult and potentially dangerous wanking rather than manoeuvring a large vehicle.




    DJ OD

  9. #9
    DF VIP Member
    Nibb's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Cymru
    Posts
    16,864
    Thanks
    554
    Thanked:        1,118
    Karma Level
    1744

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Done!

    Wanksman
    Like a Banksman but for conducting difficult and potentially dangerous wanking rather than manoeuvering a large vehicle.
    David Carradine/ Michael Hutchence would still be alive today if they had employed the services of a qualified wanksman.
    by Nibb on Jun 5, 2009 tags: hanging,wanking,masturbation,asphyxiation,choking the chicken

    "Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday � what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area"
    Karl Pilkington

  10. #10
    VIP Member CzarJunkie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Atlantis
    Posts
    13,754
    Thanks
    832
    Thanked:        3,225
    Karma Level
    1993

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    There is a device called a wanksafe that I regulary use on long trips away on my own. You simply strap it to your chest and it monitors your heart, if it fails to detect a heartbeat it immediately injects adrenaline into your heart muscle and restarts it a la Pulp Fiction.

    At only 124.99 with 3 Adrenaline refills it's a product I wouldn't be without.

    http://www.wanksafe.co.uk/shop/

  11. #11
    DF VIP Member baronvon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    5,180
    Thanks
    83
    Thanked:        28
    Karma Level
    660

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    for a minute there CJ I thought that was real, you`ve kind of gone down in my estimations now that it isnt real, maybe you should open one

    THE BARON

  12. #12
    DF VIP Member
    cronus71's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Indonesia
    Posts
    7,081
    Thanks
    603
    Thanked:        746
    Karma Level
    1105

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Quote Originally Posted by CzarJunkie View Post
    There is a device called a wanksafe that I regulary use on long trips away on my own. You simply strap it to your chest and it monitors your heart, if it fails to detect a heartbeat it immediately injects adrenaline into your heart muscle and restarts it a la Pulp Fiction.

    At only 124.99 with 3 Adrenaline refills it's a product I wouldn't be without.

    http://www.wanksafe.co.uk/shop/
    I travel with one of these and leave the key at home, in order to constrain my chronic masturbation. Keeps me out of trouble! http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_JeFvJtXhBa...OL_450x450.jpg
    “If I asked you to have sex with me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?”


  13. #13
    DF VIP Member diablos's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2001
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    13,591
    Thanks
    72
    Thanked:        159
    Karma Level
    1430

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Wan king must be one tough chinaman, thats all i'm going to say.


    We Only Need Nine men, we only need nine men.

  14. #14
    DF VIP Member funkyg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    In a bunker
    Posts
    3,360
    Thanks
    249
    Thanked:        186
    Karma Level
    456

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    At least he finally mastered the five finger death knuckle shuffle technique..........
    Ooh, ooh, ooh, the funky gibbon.


  15. #15
    DF VIP Member funkyg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    In a bunker
    Posts
    3,360
    Thanks
    249
    Thanked:        186
    Karma Level
    456

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Have you seen the Wiki entry for David Carradine?
    A police official said Carradine was found hanging by a rope in the room's closet,[13][14] and the Bangkok Post reported that his body was found curled up in the wardrobe with a shoelace tied around his genitals and neck along with a small asian boys head inserted in his rectum, although the boy was un harmed.[15]
    PMSL at those Wiki monkeys!
    Ooh, ooh, ooh, the funky gibbon.


  16. #16
    DF VIP Member flumperino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Isle of flumps
    Posts
    9,612
    Thanks
    521
    Thanked:        679
    Karma Level
    883

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Oh man, what a legacy to leave behind. Accidentally killing yourself while having a wank

    Gotta feel sorry for his family though; can't be nice knowing that he went this way.

    Shooooooo-ryuken!

  17. #17
    DF VIP Member
    Nibb's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2001
    Location
    Cymru
    Posts
    16,864
    Thanks
    554
    Thanked:        1,118
    Karma Level
    1744

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Thanks for your definition of Wanksman!

    Editors reviewed your entry and have decided to publish it on
    urbandictionary.com.

    It should appear on this page in the next few days:
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Wanksman

    Urban Dictionary

    Yay!
    "Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday � what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area"
    Karl Pilkington

  18. #18
    DF VIP Member B.I.G.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Liverpool
    Posts
    5,428
    Thanks
    210
    Thanked:        337
    Karma Level
    681

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Just out of curiosity (and OT) who put Czarjunkie on there back in 2005?

  19. #19
    DF VIP Member flumperino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Isle of flumps
    Posts
    9,612
    Thanks
    521
    Thanked:        679
    Karma Level
    883

    Default Re: Wanking Kills Bill

    Quote Originally Posted by B.I.G. View Post
    Just out of curiosity (and OT) who put Czarjunkie on there back in 2005?
    From the syntax, I suspect that it was Czarjunkie himself!

    Shooooooo-ryuken!

Similar Threads

  1. bill gates
    By 4me2 in forum The Dog and Duck
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 30th October 2002, 09:12 PM
  2. Bill
    By BONE in forum TV Talk
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 21st October 2002, 11:24 PM
  3. Can Bill Mess with Current Mod'ed XBox's?
    By ILuvFreeTV in forum Microsoft Consoles
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 8th October 2002, 11:03 AM
  4. The Wanking Cat
    By colinjohn1 in forum The Dog and Duck
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 23rd September 2002, 12:21 AM
  5. Mobile phone scam kills curious cats
    By marcode in forum Unlocking Questions & Solutions
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 31st August 2002, 07:12 PM

Social Networking Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •