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  1. #1
    DF Probation zeb123's Avatar
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    lmao When girls don't put out!!

    This was written by a guy...it's pretty damn smart.

    Girls -- Please have a sense of humour!


    I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

    FOR EXAMPLE:

    One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'

    I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'

    So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

    'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

    She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'

    Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

    The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

    We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

    I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'

    I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'

    Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'

    I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

    And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'

    Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member jcat's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    hahahahha very good

  3. #3
    DF VIP Member Curleous's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    Nice one

  4. #4
    DF VIP Member SiE's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    old but still a classic

  5. #5
    DF VIP Member daz73's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    a classic!!

  6. #6
    DF VIP Member
    Mystical_2K's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    heard it before but its still a cracker
    You know he grew up as a little shitspark from the old shitflint and then he turned into a shitbonfire and driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance he turned into a raging shitfirestorm. If I get to be married to Barb I'll have total control of Sunnyvale and then I can unleash the shitnami tidal wave that will engulf Ricky and extinguish his shitflames forever. And with any luck he'll drown in the undershit of that wave. Shitwaves.

  7. #7
    DF MaSter 0101101's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    lollll love it

  8. #8
    DF VIP Member afc_man's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    Would love to do that to the G/f lol

  9. #9
    DF VIP Member
    Eddie_M's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    I hadn't heard it, but made me chuckle....nice one

  10. #10
    DF VIP Member C3Grimmy's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    great revival thank's

    Guy Fawkes come back, your country needs you!!

  11. #11
    DF VIP Member
    jaguar982's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    Am i brave enough to try it................... am i fcuk

    jag


    I'm not racist i hate everybody

  12. #12
    DF VIP Member turnerswfc's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    One that you always have to have a little chuckle no matter how many times you hear it.

  13. #13
    DF VIP Member Vader's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    that is f****g funny as you like. Ive been here chuckling for the last 10 mins. Def a classic!

  14. #14

  15. #15
    DF Moderator
    ss30's Avatar
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    Default Re: When girls don't put out!!

    Very Good

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