A man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face.
"What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.
"Well I'll tell you," replies the ugly bloke, "you know I live by
the railway, well on my way home last night I noticed a young woman
tied to the tracks, like in the movies. I, of course, went and cut her
free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I scored big time!
We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me
on top, sometimes, her on top!"
"Fantastic," exclaimed the barman, "you lucky sod. Was she pretty?”
"I dunno, I never found her head."