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Thread: viagra pills

  1. #1
    DF VIP Member
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    Default viagra pills

    A man finally gets his prescription for Viagra.

    Eager to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets
    home, and waits for his wife to come home from work,
    but in his excitement he forgets and leaves the
    package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all
    of them. Seeing the results and panicking the man
    grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.

    Unfortunately, his Viagra kicks in just as his wife
    comes home and it is hours later before he remembers
    the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer
    expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing
    heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.

    "What happened?" the man asks. "You were in there for
    hours and yet you're not only alive but you're
    sweating like crazy?"

    The cockatiel pants, "Man, have you ever tried to pry
    apart the legs on a frozen chicken?"
    Smile it's the second best thing you can do with your lips:D :D :D
    I'd walk a mile for one of your smiles and even
    farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member sparkster's Avatar
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    Default

    A new blend of viagra has just hit the market, it comes in eye drops,,, does fcuk all for the penis,,, but it makes ya look hard

    i'll get me coat :o:

    sparkster
    If you tell the truth, you donít have to remember anything.

  3. #3
    DF VIP Member stimpy's Avatar
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    Default

    took one of them viagra tablets, one get stuck in my throat and it gave me a stiff neck for days

  4. #4
    DF VIP Member Pongo's Avatar
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    Default

    The missus gives 'em to me to stop me rolling out of bed
    "Only 2 things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the universe."

    Albert Einstein

  5. #5
    DF VIP Member kaiser_soza's Avatar
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    Default

    there was a burgulary at boot's wharehouse in which 100,000 viagra tablets where stolen
    a police spokesman said "we are looking for a gang of hardened criminals"

  6. #6
    panegyric hoodedclaw's Avatar
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    wow..... never seen so many Viagra jokes in one room.

    Must have been hard!!!!

    Ho ho ho, ha ha ha!
    "So right, so pure,
    so hoodedclaw"

  7. #7
    DF VIP Member lombie's Avatar
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    Default Re: viagra pills

    A woman walks into her sex therapist's office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and they never have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it. The therapist tells her that she has an experimental drug called "Viagra" that might do the trick. She tells the woman to give her husband one pill that night and come back in the morning and tell her what happened.

    The next day, the woman comes in ecstatic telling the therapist that the pill worked, she and her husband had the best sex ever. She asks her therapist what would happen if she gave her husband two pills and the therapist says she doesn't know, but to go ahead and try it.

    The next day, the same thing happens, the woman comes in telling the therapist that the sex was even better than the night before and what would happen if she gave him five pills. The therapist says she doesn't know, but to go ahead and try it.

    The next day, the woman comes in limping but happy, and tells the therapist that the sex just keeps getting better and what would happen if she gave her husband the rest of the bottle of "Viagra". The therapist says she doesn't know; it's an experimental drug and she doesn't know what a full bottle could do to a person. Anyway, the woman leaves the therapist's office and put the rest of the bottle of pills in the husband's morning coffee.

    A week later, a young boy walks into the therapist's office and says:
    "Are you the doctor who gave my mother a bottle of experimental pills?"
    "Why, yes, young man, I did. Why?"
    "Well, mom's dead, my sister's pregnant, my Butt hurts, and Dad's sitting in the corner going "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty..."

  8. #8
    DF VIP Member fonetech's Avatar
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    Default Re: viagra pills

    class m8, still wiping the tears from my eyes :thumbs

  9. #9
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    Default Re: viagra pills

    Rotflmfao

  10. #10
    DF VIP Member super mike's Avatar
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    Default Re: viagra pills

    Hahahahahahahhahahahahah

  11. #11
    DF VIP Member briansite's Avatar
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    Default Re: viagra pills

    liked them all well done ROFLMAO

  12. #12
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    Default Re: viagra pills

    LOL some old ones, but the first and last are fcukin' excellent LMFAO


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