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Thread: Signs

  1. #1
    DF VIP Member Soulassassin's Avatar
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    Newcastle UK
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    Cut an pasted from an email, but I found this funny...

    Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid."
    That way you wouldn't rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them
    anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops...never mind, didn't see your
    sign." It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and
    there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and
    says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a
    week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."
    A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine, we pulled
    his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big ol' stringer of bass and
    this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, y'all catch all them fish?" "Nope.
    Talked 'em into giving up. Here's your sign."
    I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel.
    There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to
    test it. "All right, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good...
    They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it
    hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
    Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those
    side-of-the-road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my
    truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire go flat?" I couldn't resist.
    I said, "Nope. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right
    up on me. Here's your sign."
    We were trying to sell our car about a year ago. A guy came over to the
    house and drove the car around for about 45 minutes. We get back to the
    house, he gets out of the car, reaches down and grabs the exhaust pipe, then
    says, "Darn that's hot!" See, if he'd been wearing his sign, I could have
    stopped him.
    I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you
    know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I
    couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and
    eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his
    basic questioning ... problem. I thought for sure he was clear of
    needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help
    myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and
    said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."
    I stayed late at work one night and a coworker looked at me and said, "Are
    you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your
    Anybody you know need a sign today? Send this to all your friends.
    The next time someone says something stupid ask them where their sign is
    If nature always takes the easiest route, what's easier...?
    The creation of billions of galaxies each containing trillions of stars each with their own solar systems, some with planets that have evolved civilisations with billions of different life forms. OR The creation of just your imagination?

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member BigBadDog's Avatar
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    Feb 2001
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