Nightmare #1
After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled
out
a
cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.Unable to find
it,
he
asked the girl if she had one at hand."There might be some matches
in
the
top drawer," she replied. He opened the drawer of the bedside table
and
found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of
another
man. Naturally, the guy began to worry. "Is this your husband?" he
inquired nervously. "No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.
"Your boyfriend then?" he asked. "No, not at all," she said,
nibbling
away
at his ear. "Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.
Calmly,
the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."
Nightmare #2
The spark had been lost in this guy's marriage, so he was trying to
think
of
a way to rekindle it. One night he came from work, and found his
wife
asleep
in bed. He thought
to himself, "what should I do? Oh- I know."
He proceeded to get under the covers and go down on his wife. Soon
she
began
to gently squirm and moan in pleasure. After a few minutes, her body
spasmed
with ecstasy as she climaxed.
Afterwards, the man went straight to the bathroom to brush his
teeth.
When
he got there, the light was on and he saw his wife there shaving her
legs.
He exclaimed, "What are you doing in here?!? " She said, "Shhhh!,"
pointing
at the bed, "You'll wake your mother!"
Nightmare #3
One night a guy takes his girlfriend home. As they are about to kiss
each
other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little
horny.With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the
wall
and
smiling, he says to her,
"Honey, would you give me a blow job?" Horrified, she replies, "Are
you
mad?
My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?" He asks grining at
her.
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on! There's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I love you so much?!?"
"No, no, and no. I love you too, but I just can't!"
"Oh yes you can. Please?"
"No, no. I just can't"
"I'm begging you ... "
Out of the blue, the light on the stairs goes on, and the girl's
sister
shows up in her pyjamas, hair disheveled, and in a sleepy voice she
says,
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a blow job, or I can do it. Or if
need
be, mom says she can come down herself and do it. But for God's sake
tell
him to take his hand off the intercom!!!!!!!!!
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