A young blonde female stock broker was bored with her BMW. It lacked
individuality and besides, every other broker in the office had one. She
fancied something a bit more individual, perhaps an MG convertible.

She visited a local car dealer and saw a beautiful Jaguar XK140 convertible.
It was wonderfully restored and she fell in love with it's gorgeous lines
and red paint. An empty cheque stub later and off she was, tearing down the
leafy country lanes enjoying her beautiful new car.

Her long blonde hair was flowing in the wind, music blaring from the stereo,
what could possibly be better? What could possibly go wrong?

As that thought crossed her mind, there was a splutter from the engine and
the car slowly coasted to a stop. She got out and lifted the bonnet and
concluded that she didn't have a clue as to what was wrong. She grabbed her
pocket phone and called the AutoClub. A short while later a bright shiny
yellow tow truck pulled up behind her.

'That's a lovely car,' says the mechanic. 'What seems to be the matter?'

Well, it just conked out I'm afraid.'

'Let me have look.' He set to work and ten minutes later the engine was
purring like a cat again.

'Thank goodness,' she said. 'What was the matter ?'

'Simple really, just crap in the carburettor,' he replied.

Looking shocked she asked, 'Oh, OK. How many times a week do I have to do