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  1. #1
    DF Wh0re marktb's Avatar
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    Dudley Earthquake Appeal

    Dudley Earthquake Appeal
    A MAJOR EARTHQUAKE MEASURING 4.8 ON THE RICHTER SCALE, HIT IN THE EARLY
    HOURS OF MONDAY 23RD SEPTEMBER 2002 EPICENTERED ON DUDLEY, WEST MIDLANDS

    Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering :
    "Yam Orwight?","Boing Boing" and "Bostin".

    The Earthquake decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of
    damage. Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and
    Spanish costas were damaged.

    Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were
    disturbed. Many were woken well before their giro arrived. Thousands are
    confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that
    something interesting has happened in Dudley

    One resident, Donna-Marie Dutton, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "It
    were such a shock, little Chantal-Leanne cum runnin into me bedroom cryin.
    Me youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept frew it. I wuz still
    shakin when I wuz watchin Trisha the next mornin."

    Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.

    The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Sunny
    Delight to the area to help the stricken masses. Rescue workers are still
    searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal
    belongings including benefit books and jewellery from
    Elizabeth Duke at Argos.

    HOW YOU CAN HELP

    This appeal is to raise clothing and food parcels for those unfortunate
    enough to be caught up in it. Clothing is most sought after.

    Items required include: -
    Flat caps
    Donkey Jackets
    Heavy Twill Trousers (Male)
    Shell Suits (Female)
    Boots.

    Food parcels may be harder to put together but necessary all the same
    Required foodstuffs include:
    Faggots
    Grey Peas
    Pork Scratchings
    Tripe and Onions
    "Pigs Blood Pud"
    Banks's Bitter or Mild

    £2 buys chips, scraps and blue pop for a family of four
    £10 can take a family to Stourport for the day, where children and play on
    an unspoiled canal bank among the national collection of stinging nettles
    22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim

    Please do not send tents for shelter, as the sight of "posh" housing is
    unfair on the population of neighbouring areas of Gornal, Oldbury and
    Sedgley.

  2. #2
    DF Wh0re sbaxter9's Avatar
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    Default

    class

  3. #3
    DF PiMP spagboll's Avatar
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    Chuffing EXCELLENT mate!! LMFAO....

    Probably right too!! lol..

    Mike...

  4. #4
    DF PlaYa mummikub's Avatar
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    funny as fook

    :signs:

  5. #5
    DF PiMP shadygeezer's Avatar
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    /\/ice 1 m8 lol
    : :
    Smile it's the second best thing you can do with your lips:D :D :D
    I'd walk a mile for one of your smiles and even
    farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

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