Puppies are better than boyfriends because.....

1. Puppies won't ask you if it's the best puppy you've ever had.

2. A puppy always comes to you when you call it.

3. If you show affection for a puppy, it returns it with no strings attached.

4. All you need to do for a puppy to love you forever is feed it and not beat it with heavy blunt objects.

5. Puppies love you unconditionally.

6. It's OK if your PUPPY gets fleas from another puppy.

7. You can put a puppy on a leash and snap it back if it tries to sniff other puppies.

8. Your puppy will never leave you for your roommate, best friend, or someone with bigger breasts/more money/better looks/a better body/etc.

9. Puppies urinating in the front lawn is normal.

10. Puppies are easier to train to do simple tasks.

11. Puppies don't "bite the hand that feeds them".

12. A puppy never conspires with other puppies to play with your mind.

13. Puppies never leave en masse to check out puppies in the other room.

14. A puppy won't give you a lot of backtalk for no apparent reason.

15. You can train your puppy to do tricks--like play dead "all day".

16. If you have a neighbor you don't like, you won't be as embarrassed if your PUPPY poops all over his lawn.

17. Puppies don't even pretend to know how to fix whatever they break.

18. Puppies won't get jealous of all of your male friends.

19. Neutering your boyfriend, as practical as it may seem, is harder to justify.

20. A PUPPY's face in the toilet bowl is less alarming.

21. Puppies don't leave the toilet seat up.

22. Puppies don't have to show other puppies that it's "the puppy of it's house".

23. Puppies attract men; boyfriends drive them away.

24. Puppies don't do dishes, but at least they attempt to lick their own plate clean.

25. Puppies won't ask "Why don't you look like THAT?" when watching TV.

26. Puppies actually look attractive with a full body of hair.

27. Puppies don't mind staying home with the kids.

28. Because puppies can't read maps, they have a GOOD excuse for getting lost.

29. Puppies don't have double-standards.

30. There's no such thing as an EX-puppy...

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O.K. And for the guys: Why Motorcycles are better than girlfriends......


Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.

Motorcycles' curves never sag.

Motorcycles last longer.

Motorcycles don't get pregnant.

You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.

Motorcycles don't have parents.

Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.

You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.

You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.

If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a
muffler.

You only need to get a new chain or belt for your
Motorcycle when the old one is really worn.

If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.

Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.

When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.

Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.

Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.

New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.

If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.

If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.

If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.

If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.

You can have a beer while riding your Motorcycle.

You can have a black Motorcycle and show it to your parents.

You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.

You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.

You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.

If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologise before you can ride it again.

You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.

Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.

Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.

Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.

Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.

Motorcycles don't care if you are late.

You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.

It's always ok to use tie down your Motorcycle.

If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.

You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.