Close

Results 1 to 16 of 16
  1. #1
    DF Jedi theodotcom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    London
    Posts
    2,304
    Thanks
    242
    Thanked:        153
    Karma Level
    417

    Default Al-Qaeda encrypted message inercepted

    From: Bin Laden, Osama
    Sent: 16 October 2002 7:40
    To: All Al Qaida Fighters
    Subject: The Cave

    Hi guys.

    We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few concerns.

    First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) -so we need to sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning roster... have you? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the halal toaster).

    Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the sh*t out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.

    Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea slices recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.

    Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the infidels' bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey.

    Thanks.

    Five: Graffiti. To whoever wrote "OSAMA SH*GS DONKEYS" on the group toilet wall, it's a lie. The donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain.

    Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a grey area.)

    Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Mohammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

    Love you guys lots, Group Hug.

    Os.

    PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag. Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.

  2. #2
    DF Jedi Cam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    planet Badenti
    Posts
    2,599
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked:        2
    Karma Level
    378

    Default

    v good m8 thought it were well funny

    (17:18:34) (+Cam) i need to mount my xbox hdd in linux
    (17:19:02) (+SpikeWork) youth of today, they'll mount anything

  3. #3
    DF PlaYa monsta's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    London
    Posts
    915
    Thanks
    3
    Thanked:        0
    Karma Level
    279

    Default

    like it

  4. #4
    DF PlaYa psibob84's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    7th layer hell
    Posts
    503
    Thanks
    42
    Thanked:        1
    Karma Level
    249

    Default

    v.Funny

  5. #5
    ABCMan
    Guest ABCMan's Avatar

    Default

    you wont believe this, i posted this joke elsewhere and it got banned. this is why ....

    are you insulting the moslem? may i insult yours too?
    actually you should know not just moslem hate U.S.A and their sleeping partner-Israel? the whole world hate you,the american!
    we have our own independence too and the dictator Bush junior shouldn't ask us how to do this and that! in fact he became the president of the states because the judges chose him! do you still remember that? now with this judges-elected dictator,the world is no longer safe. so if you aren't american,do you wish to become the slave for them? not just you but your country too!
    please go and visit this site:w*w.antiwar.com and .rense.com and read the articles.
    Actually,the U.S.A is impotent country because they're not brave enough to declare a war on North Korea! To American outside who chose to be together with the dictator bush,if you really want to fight and to show how advance is your weapons,please declare a war on North Korea and China,they're your true opponent!
    Otherwise,you're just a impotent country!

    to the moderator,please filter out any message that insult the religion and the faith. the page is not the right place
    this was posted by
    mohd.razhar
    Member

    mr
    Registered: Sep 2002
    Location: kelantan
    Posts: 30
    i just dont believe some people (i hope the fcuk never comes here)

  6. #6
    ABCMan
    Guest ABCMan's Avatar

    Default

    oh and it wasnt a moslem board i was trying to piss off (which i occasionaly do) here are my stats on the same board
    ABCMan
    Super Moderator

    not a newbie
    Registered: Jul 2002
    Location: uk
    Posts: 668

  7. #7
    DF PlaYa Bez625's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2000
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    511
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked:        0
    Karma Level
    268

    Default Re: Al-Qaeda encrypted message inercepted

    Originally posted by theodotcom

    Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First patrol will be Omar, Mohammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.
    ROFLMAO - priceless was pissin myself

    -Bez

  8. #8
    DF PiMP Xad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    455
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked:        3
    Karma Level
    264

    Default

    lol
    Nice one theodotcom, very funny

  9. #9
    DF VIP Member Morph's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    1,285
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked:        19
    Karma Level
    353

    Default

    Xad - I need a blown up picture of your avatar she is fukin sweeeeet dude, ABC Man - u also have got too much time (see other post) if you have also posted 600+ on another board, and prolly more, dude, u r a monster! :-) and yes that was very funny post, I am not racist in any way, I just like jokes and see the funny side - u gotta see these things for what they are ! chill out fool!
    .

  10. #10
    DF Admin Mr Olympia's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2001
    Location
    England
    Posts
    7,692
    Thanks
    477
    Thanked:        564
    Karma Level
    867

    Default

    Classic. But pi$$ed myself more at ABCMan.

  11. #11
    DF Jedi dave208's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    mecca
    Posts
    1,002
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked:        0
    Karma Level
    282

    Default

    classic

  12. #12
    ABCMan
    Guest ABCMan's Avatar

    Default

    Originally posted by Mr Olympia
    Classic. But pi$$ed myself more at ABCMan.
    If you want a real laugh mr o, think of this, that fooker used a proxy then made 50 hops to make that post and someone still traced him

    oh and an american replied to him, bur i had to lockj his thread as it was far too serious for a jokes forum.

    @ morph yeah its a lot of posts for on another board, but that said in my defence its a warez board and i mod the roms section so 600+ posts isnt that bad considering what they contained LOL

  13. #13
    DF PiMP Xad's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    455
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked:        3
    Karma Level
    264

    Default

    Originally posted by Morph
    Xad - I need a blown up picture of your avatar she is fukin sweeeeet dude
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] Morph

  14. #14
    ABCMan
    Guest ABCMan's Avatar

    Default

    Originally posted by Xad


    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] Morph

    mmmmmmmmmm and you missed the best bit(s) off your avatar.

  15. #15
    R.I.P. the_wizzard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2000
    Location
    in the outside
    Posts
    5,261
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked:        2
    Karma Level
    567

    Default

    just ran post through translator thingy someone posted up a while ago and heres what come out????...................


    From: Bin Laden, Osama
    Sent: 16 October 2002 7:40
    To ****in': All Al Qaida Fighters
    Subject: The ****ing Cave

    Dear stupid dirty assholes.

    We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really come together as a group and I LOVE that! However, while we are fighting a jihad, we can't forget to ****in' take care of the ****ing cave, and frankly I have a ****in' few concerns.

    First of all, while that *******'s GOOD to ****in' be concerned about cruise missiles, we should be even more concerned about the ****ing dust in our cave. We want to ****in' avoid excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) -so god-damn we need to sweep the ****ing cave daily. You are a ****. I've done my ****ing bit on the ****ing cleaning roster... I shit bigger'n you. have you? Further, what's it got to do with your reamed cock? I've posted a sign-up sheet near the ****ing cave reception area (next to the ****ing halal toaster).

    Second, that piece of shit's not often I make a mother****ing video address but when I do, I'm trying to scare the ****ing sh*t out of most of the ****ing world's population, okay? Shut your mouth when I'm asking for answers. Which is deeper, your bloody crack or your wanna-be mound? That means that while we're taping, please do not ride your sorry scooter in the ****ing background or keep doing the ****ing 'Queef much' shit. Get ready for pain. Burn in HELL.

    Third: Food. I should **** your porkhole. I bought a box of Dairylea slices recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on the ****ing front, and put that piece of shit on the ****ing top shelf. Say hello to burntime.

    Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance ourselves from the ****ing infidels' bat and ball games. Are you listening? Please do not chant "Ossy Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the ****ing donkey.

    Burn in HELL.

    Five: Graffiti. To ****in' whoever wrote "OSAMA SH*GS DONKEYS" on the ****ing group toilet wall, that shit's a lie. The ****ing donkey backed into my stupid ass, whilst I was relieving myself at the ****ing edge of the ****ing mountain.

    Six: The ****ing use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the ****ing old excuse that the ****ing 'chicken backed into my stupid ass, whilst I was relieving myself at the ****ing edge of the ****ing mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a ****in' grey area.)

    Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying to ****in' infiltrate our ranks. You will feel my burns. I want to set up patrols to look for them *******s. I should slam your porkhole. First patrol will be Omar, Mohammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.

    LOVE you guys lots, Group Hug.

    Os.

    PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my molested laundry bag. I'm not through yet! You are a cheese infested ****monster. Cut that piece of shit out, that shit's not funny anymore. Yes, it's true! You are a pussy.

    --------------------------------
    Burned by the Burnmaker!
    * [Only registered and activated users can see links. ] *
    --------------------------------


    booboo

  16. #16
    DF Jedi stu99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2001
    Location
    Digital World
    Posts
    1,260
    Thanks
    12
    Thanked:        6
    Karma Level
    319

    Default

    Brilliant :-)

Similar Threads

  1. [HELP] Cloning an encrypted HDD
    By evilsatan in forum PC Problems
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 8th February 2011, 02:01 PM
  2. copying encrypted file
    By kitbag in forum PC Software
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 6th December 2005, 02:33 AM
  3. DS: looks like carts are encrypted :-(
    By spaz in forum Nintendo Consoles
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 3rd December 2004, 07:00 PM
  4. help with encrypted rars
    By riko39 in forum PC Software
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10th November 2004, 03:31 AM
  5. encrypted files
    By shed2000 in forum PC Software
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 20th May 2003, 01:52 PM

Social Networking Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •