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  1. #1
    DF VIP Member Morph's Avatar
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    Oct 2000
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    Default This is all TRUE !!!!

    EVER WONDER Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    Why is it that to stop/exit Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavour, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavoured cat food?

    When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes?
    Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

    In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

    On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

    On a bag of Fritos: ..You could be a winner! No purchase
    necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

    On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and
    that would be how???....)

    On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
    (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

    On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

    on Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:"Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

    On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do! not iron clothes on body."
    (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

    On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

    On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
    (and...I'm taking this because???....)

    On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
    (as opposed to...what)?

    On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
    (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

    On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
    (talk about a news flash)

    On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
    eat nuts."

    On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
    enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents
    for this

  2. #2
    DF Jedi cybollox's Avatar
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    Apr 2001
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    lol, some good advice(not) in there.......

  3. #3
    DF Jedi Gavin M's Avatar
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    Jul 2001
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    LMAO some good points there

    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    be better if they called it trust me i'm qualified then people wouldnt be so scared of them

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