> GRAMMAR
>
> Little Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of the sudden, he
> needed to go to the bathroom.
> He yelled out,"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"
> The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to
> use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
> Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow
you
> to go."
> Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if
> you had bigger tits, you'd be a ten!!!"
> ____________________________________________________

> BEAUTIFUL
>
> One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a
> show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
> sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My
> father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
> "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little
> Michael. "My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
> beautifully," he said. "Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on
> little Johnny.
> "Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she
> was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful... just ****ing beautiful!'"