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  1. #1
    DF Admin 4me2's Avatar
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    crazy Banned from the co-op

    Banned from the co-op


    Yesterday I was at my local CO-OP buying a large bag of Purina dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

    What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that
    no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I
    ended up in hospital last time, but that I'd lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

    I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.
    (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)

    Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit us both.

    I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

    I'm now banned from the Co-op.
    Better watch what you ask retired people.

    They have all the time in the world to think of daft things to say.

    Poached from Elsewhere.

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member
    Realist's Avatar
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    Default Re: Banned from the co-op

    Classic
    I’m alive and kicking yeh baby.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Banned from the co-op

    Love it

    jag


    I'm not racist i hate everybody

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Banned from the co-op

    nice one.

  5. #5
    DF VIP Member OrangeJuicey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Banned from the co-op

    The woman was probably trying to chat the old fart up and he could of got some action if he wasn't so sarcy!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Banned from the co-op

    thats mint love it!
    Nottingham Forest 4 Life

  7. #7
    DF Rookie fcf156v's Avatar
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    Default Re: Banned from the co-op

    Thats cheered me right up - thanks

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Banned from the co-op

    Quote Originally Posted by fcf156v View Post
    Thats cheered me right up - thanks
    You must be Deeply Depressed and need Cheering up . You have replied to near every joke in this section. If your looking for a radio code or something like that your going the wrong way about it.


    J-Tag 360 RGH 360, PS3 Super Slim, Xbox 360 Slim, WDTV Live with CFW, Vu+ Solo 2, Dreambox 500HD Connected to 1M Motorised Dish.

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