World Cup drone annoys millions

[4me2]

World Cup drone annoys millions



Millions of football fans have complained about the annoying drone heard during ITV’s World Cup coverage, with many suggesting it was probably a mistake to lure Adrian Chiles from the BBC in the first place.

The droning sound, which appears during breaks from the match action and between adverts, is said to emanate directly from the mouth of presenter Chiles, and sounds very much like someone repeating the phrase, “Yam yam yam yam”.
As one ITV executive explained, “We’ve taken on board the comments and complaints about the horrendous droning sound, but unfortunately he’s only two months into a four year contract, so we simply can’t afford to turn him down to a less nauseating level.”
“You have to accept that this noise is part and parcel of the ITV football experience in South Africa, and just try to do your best to live with it.”
“Anyway, it might be annoying, but at least we didn’t cut to an advert during England’s first goal so that all of our HD viewers missed it. Oh, what? We did do that? Right. Sorry.”


Sounds

The Internet has been rife with work-around suggestions from those seeking drown out the infuriating noises coming from Chiles.
One technology forum suggested, “I’ve found that if you have another television showing the game, but slightly delayed, you can turn it up when Chiles is on screen and the sound of thousands of vuvuzelas almost blocks him out entirely.”
“You’ve still got to look at him, obviously, but if you imagine the vuvuzelas are actually a thousand angry bees heading in his direction, then the sound actually becomes quite calming.”



http://newsarse.com/2010/06/14/world...noys-millions/

[4me2]

NASA ‘faked England 1966 World Cup win’



A leading ex-NASA scientist has gone on record to confirm one of the longest-standing conspiracies in the football world: that the American space agency faked footage of the 1966 tournament in order to imply an England win.

Dr Robert Wellington – who worked for the agency throughout the sixties and seventies – spoke out following ongoing speculation on the internet.
“We needed a practice run for the moon thing,” he said, from his home in Florida. “And the soccer world cup seemed just the job. We wanted to see if we could delude an entire nation that they could achieve something that was frankly unimaginable. And it worked perfectly.”
“But we had absolutely no idea that it would become a recurring delusion,” he added.
The ‘live broadcast’ of the famous 1966 final was, in fact, pre-recorded at Shepperton Studios, then best known for the Boulting Brothers series of comedy films.


Russian

“We set up a goal at one end and then used a mixture of live action and models to simulate the game,” recalls Dr Wellington.
“It was very advanced for the time, although we did make mistakes that eventually people picked up on. A couple of shadows faced in opposite directions, and we presented Alan Ball at completely the wrong scale.”
“The US government were happy to pay, as long as we figured out a way to incorporate a Russian looking stupid.”
The hoax paved the way for NASA’s famous moon landing footage of 1969. But in its way, the English dry-run proved more successful.
“Even forty years on, everybody still talks about our world cup work,” comments Dr Wellington. “Whereas if you come to the States, nobody really mentions the moon landings any more.”
“Except Buzz Aldrin,” he adds.
“The English FA did approach us with a view to recreating the project for 2010. They sent us some tapes and everything,” reveals Dr Wellington.
“But what you have to realise is that for hoaxes to work, they need at least a small element of plausibility. We now have immensely powerful GCI techniques, green screens and animatronic facilities. But we’ve looked at your Emile Heskey – and we can’t do anything with that.”
written by Alex


http://newsarse.com/2010/06/21/nasa-...world-cup-win/

[TwoPlAnKs]

But we’ve looked at your Emile Heskey – and we can’t do anything with that.”

I despise football and have never even watched an entire match before. Stories like this about the World Cup with nothing to do with football are my favourites and I quite enjoy them. It's an immensely big waste of time and if some new fad activity was invented today which caused half the violence and problems of football then it would be banned on the spot.

Despite my ignorance on the subject, even I know the answer to why Heskey is allowed to play. Runi or Rooney or whatever the fuck he is called (Ok, I know it's Rooney but I'm making a point about how uneducated I am) scores three times as many goals over a set of matches when he is playing alongside Heskey than when he is playing alongside whoever the alternative is. I know this because somebody stupidly thought I was the sort of fuckwit who watches football and told me, but it's a cold hard fact that can't be argued with.

Most Scottish people want England to get knocked out because we are all bigoted alcoholics, but I want you to get knocked out so the bloody press shuts up about the world cup and starts reporting interesting stories about cool stuff again

Adrian Chiles is such a fanny, I always thought Christine Bleakly was cringing when he spoke on The One Show and I've heard he gets slammed by a lot of football experts for basically being an idiot and not stirring up enough interesting debates on his post-match shows. He really does seem to be one of those people without the presenting skills or intelligence to be on TV, but inexplicably is. I think he was in the right place at the right time when The One Show started from it's humble beginnings and got big just by being on it as the show got big.

[Sonrisar]

I despise football and have never even watched an entire match before. Stories like this about the World Cup with nothing to do with football are my favourites and I quite enjoy them. It's an immensely big waste of time and if some new fad activity was invented today which caused half the violence and problems of football then it would be banned on the spot.

Despite my ignorance on the subject, even I know the answer to why Heskey is allowed to play. Runi or Rooney or whatever the fuck he is called (Ok, I know it's Rooney but I'm making a point about how uneducated I am) scores three times as many goals over a set of matches when he is playing alongside Heskey than when he is playing alongside whoever the alternative is. I know this because somebody stupidly thought I was the sort of fuckwit who watches football and told me, but it's a cold hard fact that can't be argued with.

Most Scottish people want England to get knocked out because we are all bigoted alcoholics, but I want you to get knocked out so the bloody press shuts up about the world cup and starts reporting interesting stories about cool stuff again

Adrian Chiles is such a fanny, I always thought Christine Bleakly was cringing when he spoke on The One Show and I've heard he gets slammed by a lot of football experts for basically being an idiot and not stirring up enough interesting debates on his post-match shows. He really does seem to be one of those people without the presenting skills or intelligence to be on TV, but inexplicably is. I think he was in the right place at the right time when The One Show started from it's humble beginnings and got big just by being on it as the show got big.

That was the most boring post i have ever read. I've been over it seven times and still don't have a clue what your chatting???

God bless your girl friend

[TwoPlAnKs]

That was the most boring post i have ever read. I've been over it seven times and still don't have a clue what your chatting???

God bless your girl friend

Didn't notice this thread was in the football section... oops.

The part about Heskey still stands and is still relevant to this section though.

[Raptor]

Didn't notice this thread was in the football section... oops.

BAHAHAHAHA

[TwoPlAnKs]

BAHAHAHAHA

On a serious note I think it got moved here whilst I was replying to it, although I can't rule out the possibility that I'm just an absent-minded idiot. I'll admit to browsing in the football section to see public reaction to big matches but it's the last place I'd post a silly rant about football being pointless.

Am still pretty proud of the Heskey paragraph, especially the brilliant second-hand football knowledge required to write it, and a bit gutted it hasn't sparked interesting debate amongst those who do know what they are talking about.