An angry guest came down to the front desk of a Holland America Line cruise ship demanding a different room. The attendant tried to calm him down and find out why he disliked his cabin so much. He responded: "I paid a lot of money for this cruise and was promised a sea view, the only thing I can see through my window is the damned parking lot!"
We’d not yet left the dock.

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A tourist at a top African game lodge overlooking a waterhole, who spotted a visibly aroused elephant, complained that the sight of this rampant beast ruined his honeymoon by making him feel "inadequate".

LOL can anyone beat them.