Any digital Spy users read this thread
Elaborate wind up or guy falling apart.
http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/forums/s....php?t=1403179
Basic Gist of it.
Originally I opened this with a disclaimer apologising for it's length but claimed it would be 'humerous'. When I finally finished I had to edit this because it's humerous, but in the sense I'm the ****ing joke and it's not the same kind of humour that was intended but the "Oh Shit!" type.
This is somewhat disturbing, but also*edit: more distubing now I actually realise what I wrote but also sums up the batshit crazy Daily-Mail-esque sensationalist society we live in today.
Just to set the scene, my girlfriend's parents lives on a hill, her room is at the front and we sit with our back to the window. We have quite a wide view of the surrounding neighbourhood and the real world and often amuse ourselves watching the drunks coming out the pub up the road. The houses on the opposite side are on a higher elevation, so they have an even greater view. It also means they can look right into our windows. In fact, we've often caught them doing just that.
Oh, and I own a DSLR with a wide selection of lenses, including a 70-200mm L. By now I'm sure you can see where this is heading.
Months ago we started hearing radio chatter outside. Sometimes faint, sometimes loud at all times of the day but when we'd look out the window there'd be nobody there. Over time, this got somewhat annoying. Moreso as my hearing is more sensitive than my girlfriends which meant she often wouldn't hear the quiter radio chatter. This made me start to question whether said radio chatter was actually inside my head rather than someone actually having a radio conversation. This was also due to the fact I'd hear it when at my own home when she wasn't there and again when you'd look out there'd be nobody there.
The more we heard it, the more we'd tried to find the source. My DSLR is at my girlfriends along with a 50mm lens and the 70-200mm. The 50mm isn't going to be much use for trying to visualise the source of radio chatter, so we tried with the 70-200.Whenever we'd hear it, we'd start looking, however, we only ever tried with the camera twice by doing long exposures over different areas to see anything we would miss with the naked eye, although we have often tried taking photos of other stuff, such as bats, stars, just anything really, you know, as people interested in photography sometimes do.
We would often question where the source came from and started speculating about cracks in people curtains, blinds or from bushes and outbuildings, etc.
Recently I've started feeling like I'm being followed (but that could just be the weed). However, we'd see the same cars in different neighbourhoods (hers and mine), dogs with owners walking around our street despite never seeing them before. Sometimes we'd even see the same dogs but with various different owners. Which is odd, as you soon recognise the owners and their dogs who regularly walk your street, who's responsible for walking them, their hours, etc. It was often at bizarre times too, like the early hours of the morning in freezing cold weather. There was one we even remarked look like it might be a police dog.
This caused us to speculate that maybe they were police surveillance and, as you do on a weekend when you're stoned or pissed or whatever in the early hours and bored, we began looking for undercover police officers hiding in the bushes who might have been responsible for the radio chatter we may (or may not) have heard (depending on its volume). We soon noticed the same variety of cars driving round and round aimlessly at all hours of the day, the previously mentioned new dog owners and dogs not seen before (one of which drove their dog to our street just to walk it there). The more of this bizarre behaviour we'd see, the more we questioned what was going on. Well, I say we, for most of the duration she just thought I'd gone ****ing mental, as you do of people who think they hear voices, radio chatter, or are being followed. Neverless, the constant radio chatter has drove me insane. They say drugs will make you paranoid, none of them will do so in the speed and efficiency that timed intervals of "CRACKLE CRACKLE SQUARK", day and night in a tone and frequency that does remarkably sound as if it's coming from your inner head will do. If you want someone to become a tin foil hat wearing gibbering wreck forever looking over their shoulder and checking their rear view mirror within months then this is it.
This was compounded when a VW Golf with big burly guys inside started driving past the house in the early hours, at a crawl, and looking directly at her house and window. My sports car is in her garage, so naturally this caused us concern we were a target for thieves. On two occasions I attempted to get their reg number with my camera, in the event anything did happen.
This bizarre behaviour continued and increased and it's driven me more and more mental. Someone recently stole my girlfriends number plates in the early hours of the morning. By some miracle the police recovered them from a large bush 5 minutes way. From past experience of friends who've been burgled, you'd have far less luck finding a single item out of the contents of your entire house. Despite being informed they'd 'investigate', we've never heard a thing since. We decided we'd temporarily setup some old webcams to use as security monitors in the hope we'd catch whoever was responsible if they tried again (in the event it was for cloning). We only used them for a few weeks before removing them.
Today though, today was a double whammy. The early hours of Sunday morning we were visited by the Golf Goons crawling by the house and staring up at it. They turned into a street that's a dead end so I was determined to finally get their reg number when they came back out. Despite waiting a few hours, I didn't succeed and I'm not batshit crazy enough to feel compelled to walk about at that time of the night in freezing weather to find a car with four large guys in it who would, I hope, completely understand whilst I just note down their reg. Unless they were actually thieves, in which case they might bash my head in.
This was soon followed by a radio chatter marathon throughout most of the morning and the afternoon and into the night. It got so annoying and local activity increased so much I simply began thinking everybody and every car was undercover police surveillance and there was so much radio chatter going on I considered that the only logical conclusion was that i was intercepting the communications with merely my brain and oh my god there's a nice new padded cell at the hospital with my name on.
But tonight, along with the radio chatter there were hushed human voices. Brilliant, just what I need. More voices in my head. I even checked my phone and TV to make sure it wasn't some odd behaviour from them. Looking outside reveals the source to be a neighbour whom we'll call DooLa (as in Doolally) across the road talking to someone else, both of whom promptly looked up and stopped their conversation. Phew, relief, I'm not hearing things. However, when I sat back down, they continued talking and I overheard "I just want to know what he's taking pictures of".
Then the penny dropped. The morloc across the road, whom I should note can barely speak English - please note: I'm not being racist or whatever, it is actually her first language, she's just a ****ing retard and has a voice like an EA Sim - has clearly seen me and my girlfriend sitting at her window with my DSLR and 70-200mm GOING ABOUT OUR BUSINESS and instantly concluded that as the lens is pointing in her direction (because as we all know most humans are egotistical shits who think the world revolves around them and that when you point a camera in any specific direction that may contain any human person, that person will instantly think you must be taking their photo) I simply must be taking a photo of her, or her kid, or the social housing she lives in owned by the council (not you, fishface, the council).
However, she must have realised I'd never be interested in her inbred looks or her council house so the only logical explanation must be that I... sorry, 'we' as it's me and my girlfriend together at the time so I'll just assume you've made wild allegations against her too... are interested in her kid and most certainly must be paedophi1es. Or I am, if it's only me whose behaviour concerns you and the police, which I'm sure would constitute sex discrimination. But hey, it's alright to stamp on other peoples rights when you're all frothed up in a Daily Mail Rage, right?
Her NEED TO KNOW (because 'being a nosy ****er who has to intrude into other peoples privacy' must clearly be one of her human rights) just what I'm taking photos of has caused her to take her demands to the police. Most of the things I take photos of are inanimate (and no, not dead kids if that's what you're wondering) or ocassionaly something living if it's something you don't see too often if, for example, bats are about. Not that we've had much success at that but there you go.
Just for the record DooLa, I have absolutely no interest in your ugly, braindead son and I hope the police should have uncovered this vital information when delving into my life in as many intruding ways as they can as they no doubt have now thanks to you 'DING' It now suddenly makes sense why recently I had a ten year old child whom I had never met or spoken to in my life and purporting to be a friend of my son send me a friend request on facebook. I commented at the time to my girlfriend that it was bizarre and even asked my son who this kid was. I'm not entirely sure, but I think he sent another after I denied the first. If you had even a small, no sorry, tiny bit of working brain capacity then you might realise it's unlikely I'm going to be taking photos of your son at five ****ing AM in the morning when the streets are deserted. Or were, before all this shit started. Amongst this tirade I've listed a few of my interests; photography, sports cars, girls ( as I'm sure you've seen when peering from between your blinds from your elevated position, oh, we see you, don't think we don't, but we don't accuse you of being a ****ing pervert. That's just politeness, if you had concerns, maybe you could have just asked to have a look at the photographs? Or showed interest and enquired what we were aiming for? Too simple?), smoking a bit of weed, and trying to solve annoying mysteries to name a few.
Your kid (or any of the other kids in the neighbourhood whose parents you've most probably slandered my name to, including the newborn next door or any kids on the planet at all) serve no interest to me. I certainly do not want to bugger them, nor rather overtly take photos of them in the street with a whopping great DSLR and telephoto lens in full view of everyone to jerk over to later. It would seem to me that if you want to do something like that, you'd use a smaller camera, something more discrete, I'd imagine something similar to what the police surveillance team I'm assuming (and I just reached this conclusion as it makes sense of everything) are lodged in your house (we did actually wonder why you'd start having Iceland deliver enough food to feed an army when it's just you and your son) are using to, funnily enough, spy on me.
Furthermore, for your information, the majority of most child abuse is comitted by a family member. Ergo, you are more likely to molest him than I am. I'll just speculate (wildly to keep inline with your own standings) moreso as social services appear to have removed your child from you a number of times.
The irony of it is, you being a nosy ****er and your desperation to simply 'know what I'm photographing' and invading my privacy and right to engage a legal hobby, caused me to start seeing and hearing things which then made me look harder in finding them, perpetuating this whole bullshit debacle by increasing said radio chatter and odd new local activity, gradually caused me to go more and more insane to the point where I started to question my own mental health. It eventually got to the stage where I simply thought every person in the street or that drove past was police surveillance.
ALL I WANT IS TO SIT AT HOME IN PEACE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND WITHOUT CONSTANTLY HEARING "CRACKLE CRACKLE SQUAWK" DAY AND NIGHT. I DON'T WANT TO SPEND HOURS AND HOURS, OR WEEKS OR HOWEVER LONG TRYING TO DISCOVER THE SOURCE OF THIS INFERNAL ****ING NEVERENDING UNSOLVABLE MYSTERY AND STARTING TO QUESTION WHETHER THE SOURCE EXISTS OR IS IT ALL IN YOUR NOW PARANOIA RAVAGED HEAD. AND THEN THERE'S THE ADDED WORRY OF THE BIG GUYS IN THE GOLF AND ARE THEY TRYING TO NICK MY CAR OR NOT? LET'S NOT FORGET THAT!
One final thing, DooLa, I'll tell you one photograph I did feel compelled to take, it was one of you selling cigarettes to 10 year old children. You ****ing hypocrite. Who's the child abuser now? ****. I've not yet given it to the police but I'm sure I can dig it out if I need to.
Now, the mystery is solved (at least I think it is) so what I guess I'd now like to know is just how deep this rabbit hole goes? How far has my name been slandered? How many people now think "Don't go near him, he likes little kids" thanks to idle, mass-hyteria, panic inducing speculation from a complete and utter retard? What about friends? Family? Has this remained confidential? Do those in the street all think like this? If they do it's almost a certainty that this allegation will have spread.It's rather disturbing when it dawns on you that everyone you know, and even those you don't, may have now heard this bullshit rumour and regard you as utter scum. Some will perhaps even have become involved in it by having to give references of my character all the whilst keeping quiet that the police are secretly investigating you and thus alerting you to the fact "oh by the way, everyone thinks you **** kids" even when it's probably your mum and hey, did any of them mention he smokes weed and maybe, just maybe he might be a little paranoid and get edgy about strange behaviour and noises given it's legal standing? And lets not forget the entire coca1ne addiction a few years ago and the joys that came with. Because surely that would be the first choice, no? That's just swell, the world and most probably your mum too think you're a kiddy fiddller and the only person who isn't aware of this is you. And possibly her parents, And hopefully your girlfriend. At least you hope she know my character. The last part only dawned on me, the wider implications of this are going to be just fantastic.
I suppose whereas before I was spending too much time worrying about the strange noise that turned out to be police surveillance that snowballed from me constanlty trying to find the source of the police surveillance (usually when stoned... sometimes drunk... or on anything else you've most probably ****ing observed me consuming when peeping on us through our windows in response to someone thinking I 'might' be peeping through theirs. I shall now be looking over my shoulder and in my rear view for the now very real threat, physically and to my character, from vigilantes, lynch mobs and the newly formed paedo-naming website as well as the now extremely difficult job of trying to clear my name. I'm sure every facet of my life will have been uncovered and enough information will have been collected to pick and pull at here and there in order to piece them together to come to the conclusion I most definitely am a paedophile and most certainly not just the more likely slightly, but completely justifiable if you're going to add ****ing sound effects into my already over-imaginative mind, paranoid, recreational drug user.
Here I was questioning my own sanity and reasoning it was probably more likely that the front door would be opened by the police via the master key for a few joints when it was in fact the actual far simpler explanatin that I'm Public Enemy Numbers ****ing One.
Who says life can't get any worse?
It's either all of the above or I never came down from those acid the other week.
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by Nibb
Social Networking Bookmarks