Herman, you probably shouldn't read this....

[neo2810]

So there I was, trundling down the A1, heading to a morning filled with testosterone and exhaust smoke at a charity Rolling Road event, my engine purring like a finely tuned hamster wheel. I glanced at the speedo, 90mph. Happy with that, I kept a sharp eye on both the road ahead as far as I could see, and the rear view. Only twice did I flex to a ton just to get past potential unsafe situations (buses and trucks prone to unexpected swerving).

Lo and behold, just 20 minutes off Northallerton I notice a car which looks more intent than the rest, growing larger in my mirrors until I catch a glimpse of the unmistakable extended roof.
My right foot eases slowly off the accelerator, as if this may fool anyone into thinking it's been half mast the whole time. I watch the speedo slide down from 90, to 85, to 80, and then, not wanting to appear desperate to please, I hang at 80 for a few seconds before easing down to 75 and watching as North Yorkshire's finest looms larger and plonks himself behind me. I slide into the left lane and he follows. $#@!, I think quietly...
Sure enough, after a pause just long enough to make me start filling with hope, the blues come on and we pull into a layby. At this point, I'm thinking how damn annoying it is that my clean licence is going to be tainted by 6 points or removed from me, but also how it's winter and if it's only 6 months that's not so bad.

Officer approaches, window is wound down and music killed.

Me: "Morning" (in as nochelont a voice as possble)
Officer: "Morning, any particular reason you were driving at over 100 miles per hour?
Me: (thinking) "Bullshit!, your just trying to get me to admit guilt you slimy wanker"
Me: (saying) "I didn't realise I was going that fast, I thought I was running around 85 officer?"
Officer: "I calibrated my camera myself this morning, and I've clocked you at 101mph over about half a mile"
Me: (Thinking) " My god, you must have a fucking invisible mode or I want one of those super reach cameras!"
Me: (Saying) "I'm sorry, I didn't realise, although I am a careful driver around town, I generally push a little on the motorway, but there's no excuse for that speed. I genuinely didn't realise that was what I was doing." (grovel grovel)
Officer: Is this your car?
Me: (Smiling proudly) Yes... (then losing the smile as I remember I'm about to lose the ability to drive it)
Officer: Do you have your licence?
Me: Half of it. (Hands over photocard)
After a minute of radio squwaking and me confirming I am who the radio said I should be...
Officer: Have you been drinking?
Me: No, no...
Officer: Your eyes look glazed
Me: Yeah, I've been up since 6 with the kids.
Officer: Ah ok, where you headed to?
Me: Northallerton, to a charity do (smooth, methinks)
Officer: You have any points on your licence?
Me: No, none at all (with pride)
Officer: This is a nice car, and fast, but doesn't mean you have to drive it fast.
Me: Yes, you're right, and I have no excuse, I should know better.
Officer: Yes, you should. I'm going to give you a verbal warning today, watch your speed from now on....

Ha...llelujah, ha...llelujah, halle...lujah, halle...lujah, ha... lle... lu...jah!

Me: I will do, thanks, appreciate that. Good day.

And in my head I wheelspin off in a thick plume of smoke, but in reality I wimp off trying desperately to muffle the sound of my racing exhaust and hold well below 70 until the police car is well out of sight.

I live to ride another day. And I'd love to add that chap to my xmas card list because I've never heard of anyone getting away with 100mph+ without at least a fine. Who was it that said watch out for Northallerton cops because they are bastards? I disagree...

PS: I'm still convinced I kept at 90mph so I think it's time I had the calibration on my speedo checked

[Dragon_Phantom]

GET IN Early Xmas pres me thinks!

[TwoPlAnKs]

Quality result.

I used to pay little attention to speed limits when safe(ish) to do so on open roads etc. until I got stopped doing 83 in a 60 and the policeman let me off with that too. Since then I pretty much never speed really. That policeman literally rehabilitated me by not being a dick, and I hope it's done the same for you to show them that works better than pointless points and fines.

[SiE]

you should do the lottery this weekend

[neo2810]

That policeman literally rehabilitated me by not being a dick, and I hope it's done the same for you to show them that works better than pointless points and fines.

I'd love to say I'm a model citizen now but I'd be lying ...

Saying that, I stick to speed limits in built up area's (mostly) and I'm more careful on the motorway.

[Cooleo]

You mean its against the law to speed on the motorway? Man, everyone does that lol.

[doughboy]

Well done for keeping your cool, that's the only reason you have your license still.

TBH, I only push the speed limit in the mrs' honda.. All I do in mine is get to the speed limit as quick as possible

[super mike]

Passed the attitude test with flying colours, Jammy bastard.

It is nice to hear of the stories where the Old Bill are using sensible discretion.

[cosmicma]

lucky sod
a good few years ago ( 1997 ) i got pulled doing 101mph in a national speed limit in yourkshire i wasn't so lucky and ended up with a 6 week ban and £250 fine
that was at 12:30 am and absolutly no traffic
apart from the sneaky copper who'd hid himself away somwhere

[BBK]

It is nice to hear of the stories where the Old Bill are using sensible discretion.

Sensible discretion for Neo? No way, I'd've banged him up ;-)

[stimpy]

I was once pulled for doing 96 in a Citroen Xsara Picasso Diesel (no mean feat!). Copper was lovely about it, apologised for having to pull me over, complimented me on my driving ability (in a good way!) and then told me not to drive so fast in 'his patch' anymore (his words). I duly obliged, thanked my lucky stars and ever since then I have slowed right down.

That was 5 years ago and nowadays it's rare for the speedo to even reach the 80 mark.

Lesson learned! And just to show not all coppers are bastards when you cross them. There are some out there who show reason and should set an example for the rest of the force.

[cyprus]

I was pulled once in the UK for booting it at the lights on a 60MPH dual-carriage way. I was up to around 90-ish when the blue lights flashed. Also happened that my insurance had expired a few days earlier which I was of course intending to re-new.

I was very respectful and feeble with the copper, honest as I could be too. Only, I played a bit dumb regarding my insurance, claiming that as it was done online and I thought it would auto-renew. (Yeah right)

Long story short, I was caught doing around 90MPH, under-taking, driving with no insurance and all I got was a producer. Result!

From that day on though I've always kept my documentation up to date. Lesson learned.

[johnny]

Admitted doing 70mph in a 40mph zone when I was young and dumb and had just rolled my brothers car. I think it might have something to do with me calling them out to the scene. They were dicks to me but I couldn't really blame them for that, plus they let me off with the speeding and just had me hand the documents in. Pretty much only drive fast when I'm driving a nice car these days. Other than that I stick to the limit.

Never been pulled over in Canada yet though.

[danthescan]

There is a Lesson here for the Police,Respect is a 2 way street give it and you receive it.
We pay more attention to getting a bit of a warning, than hammered and loosing respect for them.

[big-paul]

We pay more attention to getting a bit of a warning, than hammered and loosing respect for them.

Amen brother. I was talking about this last night, a guy I know got pulled over, refused to give any details and spent a good few hours in the station explaining himself just so he could piss off the peelers. Not smart.

[4me2]

Quality result.

I used to pay little attention to speed limits when safe(ish) to do so on open roads etc. until I got stopped doing 83 in a 60 and the policeman let me off with that too. Since then I pretty much never speed really. That policeman literally rehabilitated me by not being a dick, and I hope it's done the same for you to show them that works better than pointless points and fines.

Can you speed with Winter tyres on ?

[maltloaf]

I've been done with successive 3 pointers from motorway cameras. 83, 79 and 85 all exactly 1 year apart! From roadside camera vans.

Whenever in my youth I got stopped by the police, lots of humility and apologising ALWAYS saw me walking away with no action taken. This includes a handbrake turn in a crowded street outside a nightclub at 3am. Be open and honest with them and they are usually more than happy to just warn you.

Nowadays I can't be bothered with high speed. 70's plenty. High acceleration I adore though !

[Over Carl]

Don't bother calibrating your speedo. You legally are allowed to have a speedo that reads +/- 5mph then another +/- 10% of the road speed. Didn't stop the cunts from giving my mum a ticket at 44 in a 40, even though you could be doing 49 in a car saying it's doing 40. That just came in the post, but I agree, if you speak well to copper you can often get away with all sorts. I remember loads of times having to plead with a copper who could tell I might have been taking the piss out of the speed limit, but still driving sensibly.

In reality pretty much every car speedo ever made over reads rather than under reads. Ever wondered why pretty much ever car you've had will do 10-20mph more than the manufacturer claimed? You know why know.

[burner1]

Only time I've ever got away with a motoring offence was back in my biking days.. Got stopped a few times by police bikers, I stayed polite etc. listened to what they had to say, then spend quite a bit of time discussing my bike (Classic Suzuki GT 250 ram air model). They'd have a look over it, but I never got a producer and they didn't radio HQ.

I've never gone mental on speed and I think they may well have stopped me to take a closer look at my bike lol.

[johnny]

In reality pretty much every car speedo ever made over reads rather than under reads. Ever wondered why pretty much ever car you've had will do 10-20mph more than the manufacturer claimed? You know why know.

I figured that out a couple of years ago by passing a sign that tells you your speed when you pass it and it's always 6-7kmph less than what the car is saying. Good idea though.