the worst lyrics of all time

[Fergie73]

coldplay every tear is a waterfall

'id rather be a comma than a full stop'. oooft

any other nominations for the worst/laziest lyrics of all time?

[{{909}}]

just about anything written by any male black writer under 30.

[DejaVu]

Oasis
Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball.

Coldplay (about to start work painting the roads).
I drew a line, I drew a line for you, Oh what a thing to do, And it was all yellow.

Red Hot Chili Peppers
Chicka chicka dee, Do me like a banshee, Low brow is how, Swimming in the sound of bow wow wow.

Shakira
Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, So you don't confuse them with mountains

Cliff Richard
I'm gonna lock her up in a trunk, So no big hunk, can steal her away from me

Artists have been throwing shit together for years and getting away with it.

[Zoots]

'I wish it was Sunday/That's my fun day/My I-don't-have-to-run day’

Grrr.

[CallmeGoose]

Katy Perry -" have you ever felt like a plastic bag, drifting through the wind"

Eh......no Katy, just no...

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD

[beansontoast]

I'm afraid of a ghost, it's the thing I fear the most, I'd rather have a piece of toast.

[DJ OD]

"Hot stickey seats, you know what I mean..."

Anything by Dizzee Wascall.

"Blow my whistle baby..."

Anything by Coldplay.

Anything by any product of X Factor ever.


DJ OD

[Zoots]

"Hot sticky scenes, you know what I mean..." (Like a desert sun that burns my skin)

Make it any better?

[B.I.G.]

Between the parted pages,
and were pressed in love's hot, fevered iron
like a striped pair of pants.

McArthur park.

[evilsatan]

Eh Eh Eh Eh Eh
Ah Ah Ah Ah Ah
Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh
Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga

Or to the same effect, I love the tune though.

And yes I know dance music like this doesn't technically count

[Mystical_2K]

razorshite
"And I met a girl,
she asked me my name,
I told her what it was."

Gwen Stefani
"This shit is bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S."

[Teajunkie]

I got a combine harvester and i'll give you the key.

[DJ OD]

Make it any better?

Not really. LOL. I love the Cult, but their lyrics are fkin odd at the best of times. And in most songs, the same line is repeated but just sung differently!


DJ OD

[Teajunkie]

robbie williams - me and my monkey. (seriously??)

There was me and my monkey
And with his dungarees and roller blades smoking filter tips
Reclining in the passenger seat of my super-charged jet black Chevrolet
He had the soft-top down (he liked the wind in his face)
He said 'Son, you ever been to Vegas?' I said 'no'
He said 'that's where we're gonna go - you need a change of pace'
And we hit the strip with all the wedding chapels and the neon signs
He said 'I left my wallet in El Segondo' and proceeded to take two grand of mine
We made tracks to The Mandalay Bay Hotel
Asked the bell boy if he'd take me and my monkey as well?
He looked in the passenger seat of my car and with a smile he said
'If your monkey's got that kind of money sir, then we've got a monkey bed!'

[SiE]

Alanis Morissette Ironic, very little is Ironic in the song

below shamelessly stolen from http://fgk.hanau.net/articles/ironic.html

1. "An old man turned ninety-eight/He won the lottery and died the next day."
While an amusing (if morbid) coincidence, there is nothing particulary ironic about the death. It is certainly an awe-inspiring sequence of events -- the gentleman celebrating his 98th birthday, winning the lottery, and dying all in a two day period. What kind of shitty luck is that? The ineffective slant rhyme, btw, is a little jarring, too.
2. "It's a black fly in your Chardonnay."
The irony here is that there is nothing remotely ironic about this line. In perhaps her one sweet moment of unadulterated genius, Alanis has shown us the true meaning of irony by giving an example of it that isn't ironic at all! Get it? It's a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning: the textbook definition of irony!
3. "It's a death row pardon two minutes too late."
This one's kind of a coin toss, and really depends on the context. Imagine the following situation: Jimmy is black and has allegedly murdered fifteen people in Texas, with malice aforethought. No doubt he's going to fry, right? All the while, his pretty young Public Defender facing obstacles both legal and societal, struggles to overturn Jimmy's conviction. The actual killer, as it happens, was the son of a cattle rancher whom Jimmy'd stripped of a football to make the winning play at the cattle rancher's son's homecoming game. The pretty young Public Defender, after years of searching, finally discovers the blood-stained sand wedge the cattle rancher's son used in the murders, covered up and down with his incriminating fingerprints. The PYPD races to the aid of Jimmy, with whom she's fallen in love and doesn't care who knows, and receives a stay of execut1on for her wrongly-accused beloved. But irony of ironies: the pretty young Public Defender forgot to set her clock forward for daylight savings time, and Jimmy's already been dead for two minutes while she's breathing a sigh of relief in the Governor's office as the Governor, bewildered, makes the phone call only to discover to everyone's dismay that Jimmy's already toast and now he has to break the news to the pretty young Public Defender, who isn't going to take this little zigzag of kismet well, one suspects. Now, that's ironic. That was so easy, there's no way I'm giving Miss Thing credit for it.
4. "It's like rain on your wedding day."
Nope.
5. "It's a free ride when you've already paid."
Sorry, no. Alanis seems to think that "irony" means "bad timing".
6. "It's the good advice that you just didn't take."
This is very close! Ignoring good advice is ironic, but only if the listener suffers some kind of befitting karmic punishment as a result. Alanis gets half a point for the setup, but because she only sketchily implies the irony, we cannot grant her full credit.
7. "Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly/ He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids good-bye/ He waited his whole damn life to take that flight/And as the plane crashed down he thought, Well, isn't this nice?"
This quatrain is truly a feather in Alanis's cap, because it contains not one, but two legitimate instances of actual, honest to God irony. A) It is, indeed, ironic that someone who is afraid of flying would die in a plane crash during his first flight; it's an unexpected disruption in the normal course of events that gives us insight into human folly. And B) said someone is being, you guessed it, ironic when he says, "Well, isn't this nice?" since we must presume that he is being sarcastic.
8. "It's a traffic jam when you're already late."
See No. 5. When Alanis finds a concept she likes, she runs with it.
9. "A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break."
Oh, come on. You were doing so well with the plane guy.
10. "It's like ten thousands spoons when all you need is a knife."
If the speaker is rifling through a silverware drawer which is known to contain knives, then this is ironic. If she's in a spoon factory, it isn't.
11. "It's meeting the man of my dreams/ And then meeting his beautiful wife."
The implied irony here is that Alanis has searched high and low for her soulmate, finds him only to discover that, wouldn't you know it?, he's married. Sheesh, all the good ones are taken, aren't they? But a moment's consideration will show that the situation is actually in no way ironic, since we would expect all the good ones to be taken. What would be ironic would be to meet some ugly, stupid, fat kid that Alanis spurned while a cast member of Nickelodeon's You Can't Do That on Television, and then meet his beautiful wife.

[greasemonkey]

She's got a sister and god only knows how I missed her and on the palm of her hand is a blister - Oasis "she's electric"

[Goldberg]

Anything by any of those mardy cunts:

Jack Johnson - Cunt
Ed Sheeran (Sings songs about dead babies for fucks sake!!) - Ginger Cunt
James Morrison - Cunt
James Blunt - Biggest Cunt out of the fucking lot of them. Even Uncle Bryn on Gavin and Stacy pointed out his songs don't even make any sense!!! (Oops, I thought there was a clip where he said 'It doesn't even make any sense')

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=erSRGZsBWr4

[ss30]

Hold a chicken in the air..........

Come on sing along