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Thread: Noisy Milkman

  1. #1
    DF Jedi Chubbs's Avatar
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    Rant Noisy Milkman

    Hi

    For years my neighbour's milkman has woken me up, so much so I sent an email to Dairy Crest, Mark Allen CEO:-

    "Last night Mark was the final straw for me, for years I have tolerated my neighbours 1/2 am milk delivery in the style of a Top Gear stunt by Jeremy Clarkson.

    It's my view that it's fundamentally unacceptable to be woken up at anytime in the early hours for any form of delivery.


    What made last night especially horrific was that for some reason the drivers truck racks or crates seemed to clatter together like a firework display mixed with a general disregard for anything other than a driver hell bent on completing a route without any care or consideration.


    I live on a private close, there are six houses here and essentially why should we all have to suffer your driver? Your driver's excessive heavy right foot resonates through the houses like he's attempting to complete a rally course in the shortest time possible.


    Whilst I can appreciate that it's not nice to work on a bank holiday Monday, I can say with confidence having your sleep broken isn't a bank holiday must either.


    What I'm trying to say is Mark is that mine and my wife's broken nights sleep needs to stop."

    Turned out Dairy Crest wasn't the right company and it is Capital Dairy.

    I've emailed their sales team twice and nothing happened, not even a response.

    I have mentioned to the neighbour years ago and it immediately got his back up.

    Speaking to another neighbour the other day he said he's also mentioned the problem before.

    Apart from having it out with the milkman at 2am what are my next steps? Someone has suggested that my neighbour leaves a milk crate out and collects from the end of the drive - any other ideas?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Whats a milkman?
    "Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area"
    Karl Pilkington

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    blaggard (10th June 2013) 


  3. #3
    DF Jedi littlebilly1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Air rifle


    Sent From TapaTalk

    Thanks to littlebilly1

    Chubbs (10th June 2013) 


  4. #4
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    call in these guys

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    Chubbs (10th June 2013), littlebilly1 (10th June 2013), the.insane (10th June 2013) 


  5. #5
    DF Jedi Chubbs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Quote Originally Posted by Mobileman View Post
    call in these guys
    Nice one, but I fear he'd be going too fast and mow them down!

  6. #6
    DF PwNagE beerman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Quote Originally Posted by Chubbs View Post
    Nice one, but I fear he'd be going too fast and mow them down!
    In a milk float?? It must be one of them V8 milk floats as you also complain about the noise resonating through your house

  7. #7
    DF Jedi Chubbs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    It's a horrendous diesel revved to death by a cunt.

  8. #8
    DF Super Moderator DJ Overdose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Buy your neighbour his milk so he doesnt need the delivery?


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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Take him down with a stale pork pie. Worked for Two-Ton Ted from Teddington. (">

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    Delboy_1976 (10th June 2013), ivrytwr3 (7th October 2018), rgb1 (10th June 2013), WotTheFook (10th June 2013), Zoots (10th June 2013) 


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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    anyone else waiting for the punchline thinking it was a joke he was telling.

    are you a really light sleeper Chubbs, can you not move to another bedroom to help with the noise.
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    Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean
    the same thing?

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    rIKmAN (11th June 2013) 


  11. #11
    DF Probation Goldberg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Why is your Neighbour getting his back up? Surely he must hear it also?
    I hate tools like this, they go all defensive as if it their own company/service that they have to defend. Sounds like an old bloke to me..

    You should get some footage of it at the very least. You could then start stealing the milk or replacing it with out of date milk. Make it so that he stops using the service.
    We all make mistakes sometimes

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    Chubbs (10th June 2013) 


  12. #12
    DF Super Moderator DJ Overdose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Quote Originally Posted by Goldberg View Post
    Why is your Neighbour getting his back up? Surely he must hear it also?
    I hate tools like this, they go all defensive as if it their own company/service that they have to defend. Sounds like an old bloke to me..

    You should get some footage of it at the very least. You could then start stealing the milk or replacing it with out of date milk. Make it so that he stops using the service.
    Not sure you should imply he dips his cock in the bottles of milk, or put eye drops in them...


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  13. #13
    DF Probation Goldberg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    We all make mistakes sometimes

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Man up and buy some ear plugs for you and your missus.

    Thanks to WotTheFook

    Nibb (10th June 2013) 


  15. #15
    DF Jedi Chubbs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    I prefer the suggestion of buying the bloke his milk thanks.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Personally...

    I'd be out there nicking his milk after it's been delivered. That will teach him. But... After the first couple of times he'll be waiting for you. So you'll have to be more ingenious. Even if it doesn't work, at least he'll be awake too.

    Thanks to Geko

    Chubbs (10th June 2013) 


  17. #17
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Just ring the dairy and cancel 'your' delivery with them..

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  18. #18
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    I had to wait for the old dear next door to pass before my early morning wake-up calls ended. The Milkman even had a radio blaring out on occasions!

    Good luck with your quest

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    Chubbs (10th June 2013) 


  19. #19
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

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    He will never know what hit him so you won't get reported and I would be surprised if he ever came down your close again !!!

    Thanks to macmilm

    Chubbs (10th June 2013) 


  20. #20
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    Default Re: Noisy Milkman

    Steal his float and set fire to it, insurance may take a while so get a few weeks peace, failing that earplugs

    Thanks to Mobileman

    Chubbs (10th June 2013) 


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