poor toilet etiquette

[macmilm]

I went to Bug Jam at santapod raceway a few years ago (Huge VW festival)...

We got our tents pitched not too far from a nearby cluster of portaloos.... I had been previous years so was aware that by day 2 they were full to above the loo seats and you couldnt even sit down.
Anyway I thought of a plan before we set off. I printed off a "STAFF ONLY" a4 sign and quickly laminated it... I attached this to the end portaloo before the place got busy and we put a padlock on it..

We got almost through day 2 of our exclusively clean portaloo before getting rumbled by another group of people, so we just said they can borrow the key if they keep quiet....

[BigBird]

I went to Bug Jam at santapod raceway a few years ago (Huge VW festival)...

We got our tents pitched not too far from a nearby cluster of portaloos.... I had been previous years so was aware that by day 2 they were full to above the loo seats and you couldnt even sit down.
Anyway I thought of a plan before we set off. I printed off a "STAFF ONLY" a4 sign and quickly laminated it... I attached this to the end portaloo before the place got busy and we put a padlock on it..

We got almost through day 2 of our exclusively clean portaloo before getting rumbled by another group of people, so we just said they can borrow the key if they keep quiet....

Will have to remember that one. Not that I would ever think of trying it at the Bulldog Bash though. If I got found out I would probably be made to clean and empty the portaloos, or even become a human toilet to be pissed and crapped on for the rest of the weekend. (">

[Mr.James]

What do they say to u?

Something like " fuck me, I wish I had a cock that big!......... instead of this massive fucker!"

Haha! Something along those lines... Wait a minute, maybe BigBrand was right after all lol

Everyone asks why and it tends to go one of two ways. People either think you're some kind of weirdo or start making jokes.

A couple of guys have asked for a 'proper' look. Fuck knows what they meant by that... And I don't want hang around to find out lol.

Why???

Running my mouth when I'd had a few in a pub. Made a daft remark along the lines of "can't hurt that much". Then a girl in our social group called me out. I walked into tattoo parlour over the road and literally 15mins later hobbled back into the bar.


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[macmilm]

While we are on the subject why is it that when you are out and about you always have a quick scout to ensure there is going to be something to wipes the ring once you've done
BUT when at home you never think to check (or is it just me)

Must be once a fortnight you have to holler for the Mrs to fetch you something to wipe your arse on..
even worse if you are home alone... I will be honest I have on occasion had to perform the side ways scoot.. you know when you realize your only option is to flush what youve done
and scoot sideways until your arse is hovering over the bath so you can give the very rusty sheriffs badge a blast with the shower head.. come on we've all done it

[BigBird]

I will be honest I have on occasion had to perform the side ways scoot.. you know when you realize your only option is to flush what youve done
and scoot sideways until your arse is hovering over the bath so you can give the very rusty sheriffs badge a blast with the shower head.. come on we've all done it

No we haven't... its just you you weirdo. (">

[beansontoast]

All you clean freaks look away you bummers. This is after ten minutes of clean up at a league 1 ground:

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1394292456.754975.jpg

And finally useful after a few minutes of paper laying:

ImageUploadedByTapatalk1394292492.917938.jpg

Then nearly dropped my top into some slash. Fuck you all throne stand up pissers.

[keyser666]

I use the paper laying method, oh and I use the OP's methodology in terms of traps 1-5, howver I use the loos on any of the other 6 floors other than ours. Nothing worse than dropping the stink and a colleague doesnt see you coming out the trap but goes in head first breathing all that mush in and knowing it is you as you walk out

[Mule]

Trap?!

[jaygo]

Trap?!

Cubicle
Stall
Cludgie



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[macmilm]

Trap?!

He used to keep greyhounds!!

[Rhinoz]

Trap?!

[Tim.Lad]

Turned right round when I saw this at a customers



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[BigBrand]

Fucking hate the feeling of my bell end on the inside of the toilet when I'm sat down for a shit. When you're bell end touches the upper side, almost gay.

[Rhinoz]

I'm a fussy cunt, I only shit in my own toilet at home and would rather have a stomach ache than shit in a public/work toilet, I don't know how you guys do it.

I like to feel relaxed when I'm squeezing one out and not have to listen to others doing the same.

I need to be relaxed for a piss as well so go in a cubicle when using work/public toilets......but I always lift the seat!

Is it just me ?

[reverend]

You can't beat having a shit at work when you're on overtime! One of the guys I used to work with has never had a shit at school, college, uni or work - he literally still drives home if he's desperate for a shit!

Amazon do a book called "How to poo at work" so I bought him that for Xmas!

The mrs had a right bag on this morning, as I'd had a chicken naga last night and then had a cracking shit this morning at hers - windows open the lot afterwards. She made the mistake of thinking she'd go straight in there for a piss after waking up so as the little un doesn't get too excited (my daughter, not my cock) and she had to take it in at full force. She's not been right all day after that!

[GTI]

I'm a fussy cunt, I only shit in my own toilet at home and would rather have a stomach ache than shit in a public/work toilet, I don't know how you guys do it.

I like to feel relaxed when I'm squeezing one out and not have to listen to others doing the same.

I need to be relaxed for a piss as well so go in a cubicle when using work/public toilets......but I always lift the seat!

Is it just me ?

No
Not only do I only defecate at home, but I also religiously use a bidet + soap followed by a generous sprinkling of talc. Strangely, I'm not gay

[I Black Belt]

bollocks.
I defy anyone not to have a shit anywhere if needed.
Shit is the heaviest thing in the world. Even Samson couldn't hold it.

[beansontoast]

True. I had to use that one at the football yesterday after attempting four farts and then having to quickly hold back four sharts.

[Rhinoz]

bollocks.
I defy anyone not to have a shit anywhere if needed.
Shit is the heaviest thing in the world. Even Samson couldn't hold it.

We are all made differently, you may need a shit everyday whereas some can go days without needing one and therefore can time it when they are in the comfort of their own home.

[greaseweasel]

We are all made differently, you may need a shit everyday whereas some can go days without needing one and therefore can time it when they are in the comfort of their own home.

If you can go days without dropping the kids off at the pool then its a sign your diet isn't good.

A decent diet with healthy levels of fibre will have you laying cable like clockwork every day.