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  1. #1
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Help Allotment/garden growers read in !!!!!!!

    OK, The Wife has decided (ordered) that we must have an allotment and after a couple of years on a waiting list they decided to give her (us) one !!!!

    FFS, anyway what the fucking fuck it is fucking huge and I know fuck all about plants other than maybe cress and sunflowers as a child.
    I assume shouting at the weeds won't help or plant vegetables so any hints or tips appreciated!!!!

    Would pouring a few gallons of petrol over the plot followed by a match be considered wrong/non organic ????

    Not happy at all ! Why oh why didn't God/Satan/Darwin/{insert entity} make vegetables grow like weeds instead of needing cultivation ??????

    Why the fuck do I have to battle with rabbits, butterflies, aphids, bugs, poachers, thieves and or acts of nature???? Let Asda do it !


    Regardless I will give it a go for one year and see what happens.......

    Thanks all for not berating me and offering any horticultural advice (apart from the ones that berate me)

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member MHP's Avatar
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    Default Re: Allotment/garden growers read in !!!!!!!

    You lucky sod, I would give my right arm for an allotment. Best advise is to talk to your neighbours on the allotment and find out what grows best and how to prep the ground throughout the year. Good luck and takes some pictures.

    Thanks to MHP

    macmilm (10th March 2014)  


  3. #3
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    jaguar982's Avatar
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    Default Re: Allotment/garden growers read in !!!!!!!

    i would give my right arm to be ambidextrous

    jag


    I'm not racist i hate everybody

  4. #4
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    Mystical_2K's Avatar
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    Default Re: Allotment/garden growers read in !!!!!!!

    How to plant seeds
    http://www.wikihow.com/Plant-Seeds-in-a-Basic-Seed-Tray

    Allotment - Getting Started
    https://apps.rhs.org.uk/advicesearch...le.aspx?pid=84

    The National Allotment Society - Pest Control
    http://www.nsalg.org.uk/growing-advi...on-allotments/

    The National Allotment Society
    http://www.nsalg.org.uk/

    that should get you started mate
    You know he grew up as a little shitspark from the old shitflint and then he turned into a shitbonfire and driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance he turned into a raging shitfirestorm. If I get to be married to Barb I'll have total control of Sunnyvale and then I can unleash the shitnami tidal wave that will engulf Ricky and extinguish his shitflames forever. And with any luck he'll drown in the undershit of that wave. Shitwaves.

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