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Thread: Fat Slags

  1. #1
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    Rant Fat Slags

    Well............

    The only place I can park my works van is at the rear of my house which is a public lane and I've spent loads on CCTV covering my property and van cos its always getting broken into (well not until I put CCTV up that is). Behind me is a local authority building with its own building car park and this fat fucking slag keeps parking the only spot that my CCTV covers so she knows her fucking car is covered as well just because she is to fucking lazy to walk around from the car park cos the door is just around the corner when she parks in the lane.

    Came home from work and low and behold she was park in my spot again, well I reversed the van right tight up against her drivers door and thought well now climb over your seats slut. As I got out of my van she shouts from her office window, I CANT GET IN MY CAR MOVE YOUR VAN, which I replied that if she had any thoughts for the residence that use the lane and paid for CCTV she should use her own company car park and not keep parking in the very spot that my CCTV covers and I walked off, well.

    Came home from shopping to a phone call on my works phone from one of our managers, she placed a complaint and said she called the police, owe well.

    Problem I have is you know the company I work for and the tossers will always side with joe public and now because I have tried to protect the van out of my own pocket via CCTV this slut has now caused me a world full of pain, disciplinary and job on the line.

    Well if she wants to play that game so can I.

    She had the cheek to say I was abusive towards her nope sorry slut I just pointed out the facts and walked off and I have CCTV to prove it.


    But now Im in the shit, fucking life's great isn't it.

    2 Thanks given to Realist

    ivrytwr3 (17th April 2014), JonEp (17th April 2014) 


  2. #2
    DF Jedi rookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    Just turn off the cctv and key the fuck out of her car.

    Thanks to rookie

    ivrytwr3 (17th April 2014) 


  3. #3
    DF Jedi TAR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    No leave the cctv on, key the fuck out of her car, then post the vid on here.. for us to see lol.
    TAR seems to be a decent bloke!

    2 Thanks given to TAR

    flanflinger (17th April 2014), tigro (3rd May 2014) 


  4. #4
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    Yeh fucked off with it all.

  5. #5
    DF Jedi CallmeGoose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    take a massive shit on her bonnet


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  6. #6
    DF Jedi Chubbs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    She'd have to have huge potatoes to park there again wouldn't she?
    Last edited by Chubbs; 16th April 2014 at 11:41 PM.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    Get the local nobs to come and have a go at her car and when the plod come to check the cctv say sorry the camera had broke but seeing as I cant park my van outside my house I can be arsed treking my ladders over to fix it....


    And before you get fired off....... do you have any £25 a month codes for 25 months going

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    Phone your boss and tell him the Van's been vandalised and all the tools nicked, then put her in the frame for scheming the heist by parking her car in the way of the CCTV.


  9. #9
    DF Jedi BigBird's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    If she can go and have a word with your boss then why don't you go and have a word with hers. Ask her boss to to have a word with his/her employee about respecting the parking needs of the local residence by using the company car park like everyone else. If they have adequate parking then she should make use of it to avoid any aggro and neighbourly disputes between the company/organisation and the local private residence.

    Isn't there some code of ethics that a business/organisation has to abide by when it comes to respecting the rights of local residents?

    If you don't get any joy with her boss is there someone higher up that you can contact. If its a local authority that she works for why not have a word with the chief executive or your local MP. With the internet it shouldn't be difficult to find out who you need to contact. A letter is always better but it may get trashed by one of the staff sticking up for the employee so if you don't get any joy with her immediate boss send an email and a letter to the chief executive and he should hand it to his second in command to deal with it. (">

    3 Thanks given to BigBird

    flanflinger (17th April 2014), greens117 (18th April 2014), macmilm (17th April 2014) 


  10. #10
    DF Jedi Zippeyrude's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    Report her, local authorities hate that as well. I don't expect even shouting out of a window will go down well.

  11. #11
    DF Jedi flanflinger's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    To be honest I would park my van elsewhere and have the local kids kill it a bit, not too much. Then when your bosses have a go refer to the bollocking you got and say I had to park else where due to the fat cunt parking in your place.

    And big bird?... you've done this before haven't you?
    Who were you when you thought you where you was?. Whats a matter for can't you want to?

    Thanks to flanflinger

    BigBird (17th April 2014) 


  12. #12
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    I'll just wait now until I get my arse kicked from my employer just because I parked my van and my employer is more concerned about its image to the public.

    Fuck me I can't park in a Tesco car park now just in case both parties complain to my employer that they can't get in their cars.

  13. #13
    DF Jedi akimba's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    If I was your employer I wouldn't want you parking in TESCO car parks either, degrading me brand like that ;-)

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    i would explain to your boss her car wasn't there when you parked up outside your home she must have parked there sometime later i'd also tell them there is a dedicated car park where she should be parking and why she wants to park outside your house is anybodies guess
    tell them you think the reason why she does this is for spite as she doesn't like you and knows it inconveniences you by doing so and youv'e been expecting something like this because it's been going on for some time
    turn it into some sort of personal vendetta on her side against you
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  15. #15
    DF Probation Goldberg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    If you get sacked for that, they are clearly just using it as an excuse to get rid...

    Sounds like there is more to it, but you should pop over there and speak to the building management and ask if you can park your car in the car park and explain as to why.

    Action now:

    * Take the camera down. Simple.
    * Park up tight and put a note on her car asking her to give you a knock when she is ready to leave and you will gladly move for her. She will soon get bored of that.

    Long term:
    * Move to a house with a drive.
    * Get the Bus to work.

    In addition, let the van get broken into with EVERYTHING going missing (make sure you stock it up first). Explain to work how you used to have it covered by your own personal CCTV but due to the actions of the lady from the building opposite you have had to park it elsewhere. You told them this would happen.

    Finally, you could just make up with her? Who stopped giving who head? Sounds very suspicious.. She has a Car Park at work but parks outside of yours... Was she popping in at lunch time for a Spam Sandwich? Do you have pictures (naked)?
    We all make mistakes sometimes

  16. #16
    DF Jedi BigBird's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    Quote Originally Posted by Goldberg View Post
    Finally, you could just make up with her? Who stopped giving who head? Sounds very suspicious.. She has a Car Park at work but parks outside of yours... Was she popping in at lunch time for a Spam Sandwich? Do you have pictures (naked)?
    There's always one that will drag the thread down into the gutter. thought it would be macmilm but you were my second guess. (">

    Thanks to BigBird

    akimba (17th April 2014) 


  17. #17
    DF Probation Goldberg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    He has gone missing, so I thought as 'mini macmilm' I had best do it.
    We all make mistakes sometimes

    Thanks to Goldberg

    BigBird (17th April 2014) 


  18. #18
    DF VIP Member Bald Bouncer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    Don't suppose it's what you want to hear and not really very helpful but you have given her and open goal by the actions you have taken, I totally understand the frustration but there are far more subtle ways of going about it including suggestions already listed like approaching the company she works for.

    I now suggest an old but effective revenge: Find a dead cat road kill are the easiest to find, tie a short rope to it's tail and tie the other end to the back of her car then push the body of the cat under the back bumper of the car concealing the rope and so it is easily dislodged by any movement, when you see her drive away the first bump should dislodge the cat thus leaving it dragging behind the car you should then ring the police and say 'I have just seen a woman tie a cat to the back of her car by it's tail and drive off dragging it behind and I think she may have killed it, the car registration is *******' and obviously use a call box and don't give your name.

    3 Thanks given to Bald Bouncer

    Golly gosh (29th June 2014), ivrytwr3 (18th April 2014), Lou_smorals (18th April 2014) 


  19. #19
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    Quote Originally Posted by Bald Bouncer View Post
    Find a dead cat road kill are the easiest to find
    Do you get lots of roadkill cats near you?
    Open your heart. Die.

    Thanks to Mule

    Geko (17th April 2014) 


  20. #20
    DF Jedi akimba's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fat Slags

    Quote Originally Posted by Bald Bouncer View Post
    I now suggest an old but effective revenge: Find a dead cat road kill are the easiest to find, tie a short rope to it's tail and tie the other end to the back of her car then push the body of the cat under the back bumper of the car concealing the rope and so it is easily dislodged by any movement, when you see her drive away the first bump should dislodge the cat thus leaving it dragging behind the car you should then ring the police and say 'I have just seen a woman tie a cat to the back of her car by it's tail and drive off dragging it behind and I think she may have killed it, the car registration is *******' and obviously use a call box and don't give your name.
    Hmmmm 1 main flaw with your cunning plan....... whens the last time you seen a working phone box ;-)

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