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  1. #1
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    For some reason I always leave buying pressies to the last minute.... usually a couple of days before..

    Anyway this time I have really fucked up... just realized the date which means tomorrow is our lasses Birthday and I have got fuck all...
    I really mean fuck all, not even a card. For some reason I thought I had another week but this wont count as an excuse......

    Shops are shut.... I live near a Spar which is the only thing open... I could rush out tomorrow morning with some feeble excuse but AFAIK most shops shut tomorrow too.....

    Fuck me

    Need to fake a serious illness !



    Suppose I could make her another pie ;-(

    Thanks to macmilm

    Cosmicpore (20th April 2014) 


  2. #2
    DF Jedi CallmeGoose's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    fuck the UEA gigs. looks like you'll be needing to crash on a couch sooner than you though!

  3. #3
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Your not wrong..... I'll be round about 11ish tomorrow.

  4. #4
    DF Jedi CallmeGoose's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    im back on the ship at 7am. your fucked. ;-)

  5. #5
    DF Jedi coin-op's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Are you Goldberg in disguise?

    Thanks to coin-op

    Over Carl (20th April 2014) 


  6. #6
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by coin-op View Post
    Are you Goldberg in disguise?
    ????????????

  7. #7
    DF VIP Member
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    How about an experience day, print that out and put it in your £4 hallmark card from spar?
    No sympathy for the devil; keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride...

  8. #8
    DF PwNagE flumperino's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Lol yeah, didn't you learn from Goldberg's thread?

  9. #9
    DF PwNagE GTI's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Calm down, pressie in the post usually works well. Just order something nice and expensive off Amazon (pay for next day delivery) show her what it is and tell her she will have it on Tuesday/Wednesday.
    The delay was due to it not being in stock.

    Thanks to GTI

    macmilm (20th April 2014) 


  10. #10
    DF PiMP Cosmicpore's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Do you have any of her shitty old jewellery lying around that you could use for parts? [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    Draw some 'I love yew' stuff on it and a bake later, motherhecking bracelet. I saw a handmade card once of a sheep made with cotton wool and it said 'I love ewe'. Veh cute.

    Recieving that would be better than what my other half does, he always buys on the day because I KNOW he hasn't got anything in advance. He goes out unusually early without saying anything then walks in with a present wrapped in his clothes. One year he gave me a cardboard box filled with stuff I like eat. True story.

    Thanks to Cosmicpore

    macmilm (20th April 2014) 


  11. #11
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by coin-op View Post
    Are you Goldberg in disguise?
    Oh yeah just remembered the thread..... no its different he actually did by her a present .. she was just a selfish cow and didn't appreciate it !!

  12. #12
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by GTI View Post
    Calm down, pressie in the post usually works well. Just order something nice and expensive off Amazon (pay for next day delivery) show her what it is and tell her she will have it on Tuesday/Wednesday.
    The delay was due to it not being in stock.

    I like that idea !!!!!! Can just get her some flowers from the cemetery tomorrow to put her on ;-)
    She will expecting a homemade present from the boy too though... so my cunning plan (unless I come up with something better)
    Is to nip down the beach in a bit and get a jar of pebbles ... paint em pretty colours when she goes to bed and say he did it ;-)

    She is a bit of a hippy so I will get away with that.... even a bit of drift wood would work ffs

    2 Thanks given to macmilm

    GTI (20th April 2014), supraman54 (21st April 2014) 


  13. #13
    DF PwNagE B.I.G.'s Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    A bit radical I know but can you not slip her something later tonight that will send her into an induced coma for 24 hours.

  14. #14
    DF VIP Member
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Make a restaurant booking.
    Open your heart. Die.

  15. #15
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Hmmmmmm some good suggestions here !!!!!

    Anyone in suffolk and selling Rohypnol ?????

  16. #16
    Mummy's little soldier I Black Belt's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    wait a minute. Cosmicpore is a girl... Or a chutney .

  17. #17
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by I Black Belt View Post
    wait a minute. Cosmicpore is a girl... Or a chutney .
    Why do you want to fuck her??? Or bum him ???

    Switch hitter !

  18. #18
    DF Jedi jaguar982's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Get her an easter egg

    jag
    I'm not racist i hate everybody

  19. #19
    DF Jedi ZX7R's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Get down the spar and buy ingredients to bake a nice early morning surprise cake. And then give her the news about an amazon item not arriving, as already mentioned.

  20. #20
    DF PwNagE prezzy's Avatar
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    Default Re: FUCKING Hell I am in the Shit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Just fuck her off - obv a cunt if she gonna moan over fuck all and even more so she has you worried about it

    Not sure why it seems a trend on here to be totally pussy whipped some of you cunts need to get a grip

    5 Thanks given to prezzy

    BertRoot (20th April 2014), Cosmicpore (20th April 2014), ganjaman2 (21st April 2014), Zoots (21st April 2014), ZX7R (20th April 2014) 


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