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  1. #1
    DF Probation Goldberg's Avatar
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    Default Moral Dilemma...

    Ok, this is for a pal. My situation is getting sorted and I am trying to tell him that the grass is greener and he needs to man up!

    He has been married for about 7 years now. Two kids later, his wife weighs more than him and is probably 5 stone heavier than when they got married. It has really started to affect everything.
    Little things get on his nerves about her all the time, recently it is the snoring like crazy at night. He end's up going to the car so he can sleep, but she just ends up getting pissed at him for being a stupid cunt about it.


    Her favourite thing literally is is watching $ky and eating take-aways all day every day oh and Facebook.... it is safe to say there is no hope in sight for their relationship. He has given up on wanting any sexual relationship with her because 1. it was never good to begin with (I know... see later) and 2. it's just embarrassing (more so to listen too! Pass the flour..)


    He tried to get her out on the bike and walks, but it doesn't really work unless it is up and down the cake isle in Asda. He even spent £2500 on an professional multi trainer thing for her which he uses all the time, but she has only touched twice.


    If the two kids were not involved he would have left her because her selfish behaviour is making him unhappy and it will surely result in major health problems in the future for her.
    He is embarrassed to be seen with her. I don't like to even be around her to be honest because she is foul and it is embarrassing and because I did bang her once before they met... He does not know this and I am scared that she will mention it if they split causing problems between me and him!


    He really needs some help with this, I have told him to leave her often over beers but he then has guilt trips...
    Right now he just seems to be counting down to when the kids are 18 so that he can get a divorce with no financial implications.
    He tells me he didn't sign up to live with a slob when he got married. She always told him before they got married that she would never let herself go, but now....

    Thoughts? He really is depressed.. How can I convince him to leave her?
    We all make mistakes sometimes

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    I wouldn't convince anyone to leave anyone, it has to be their decision as they will live with the consequences. It sounds like he wants to leave her so really best thing you can do is support him, chat it over and if he says himself that he wants to leave her ask what is stopping him. If he says the kids then you should reason with him so he understands it wouldn't be the end of the world for the kids if handled correctly and make sure he knows he should be happy too.

    I have no idea of the implications of divorce on finances and kids so I have used general advice here.

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  3. #3
    Mummy's little soldier I Black Belt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    It's not your job mate. All you can do is be supportive, but interfering will somewhere down the line bite you on the ass.
    It isn't you he needs to talk to, it's her and clearly if all she does is sit and eat then there's some deeper issues there.
    As an aisde, if you did bang her pre them, then that will come out in the mix, especially if you side with him and it goes pear shaped.
    All you should consider is removing her ammunition to hurt him, by telling him first.

    Thanks to I Black Belt

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  4. #4
    DF Probation Goldberg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    I am in the get rid camp.. But if he can save everything and make her see what she is doing and they all live happily ever after then I would be happy for him.

    Two questions here really then:

    1. If he is to leave her to make him happier and enjoy his life then how do I convince him. My current get pissed and tell him to bin her tactic is not working.
    2. How does he prize her hand off the KFC Bucket and the Facebook to get her to look in the mirror at herself and their relationship and to do something about it.

    This is my best mate and has gone through everything with me as I have with him. I cannot let him down on this but right now he is turning the wrong corner.
    We all make mistakes sometimes

  5. #5
    DF Probation Goldberg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Quote Originally Posted by I Black Belt View Post
    It's not your job mate. All you can do is be supportive, but interfering will somewhere down the line bite you on the ass.
    It isn't you he needs to talk to, it's her and clearly if all she does is sit and eat then there's some deeper issues there.
    As an aisde, if you did bang her pre them, then that will come out in the mix, especially if you side with him and it goes pear shaped.
    All you should consider is removing her ammunition to hurt him, by telling him first.
    We are talking about when we were at school with the banging. It was actually a couple of years before we both realised 'Fuck that was you'. Drunk kids in a field etc... We have said nothing but said everything about it if you know what I mean.
    I should have told him at the time when he was starting to see her but things got in the way...
    We all make mistakes sometimes

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    i would stay away mate, give advice to him but i wouldnt get more involved than that, sounds like its something thats ready to explode and you will get caught in the crossfire
    You know he grew up as a little shitspark from the old shitflint and then he turned into a shitbonfire and driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance he turned into a raging shitfirestorm. If I get to be married to Barb I'll have total control of Sunnyvale and then I can unleash the shitnami tidal wave that will engulf Ricky and extinguish his shitflames forever. And with any luck he'll drown in the undershit of that wave. Shitwaves.

    Thanks to Mystical_2K

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  7. #7
    DF Probation Goldberg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mystical_2K View Post
    i would stay away mate, give advice to him but i wouldnt get more involved than that, sounds like its something thats ready to explode and you will get caught in the crossfire
    Easily said but this is my drinking buddy... I can see it is tearing him apart.
    We all make mistakes sometimes

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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    If you are seen as persuading him to leave her then you are putting yourself in the firing line from their entire family and could be seen as a family wrecker. He needs to grow some balls and confront her about it all, best thing you can do is support him in his decisions, if he says he wants to stay with her then suggest him asking her about her weight etc.

    I know you think you are doing the right thing by pushing him in a direction but it's a very dangerous move... Also I hope for your sake that they weren't involved at all when you slipped one up it.


  9. #9
    DF Probation Goldberg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Quote Originally Posted by evilsatan View Post
    If you are seen as persuading him to leave her then you are putting yourself in the firing line from their entire family and could be seen as a family wrecker. He needs to grow some balls and confront her about it all, best thing you can do is support him in his decisions, if he says he wants to stay with her then suggest him asking her about her weight etc.

    I know you think you are doing the right thing by pushing him in a direction but it's a very dangerous move... Also I hope for your sake that they weren't involved at all when you slipped one up it.
    No, as above it was when we were kids..
    We all make mistakes sometimes

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Life is short, get rid. If a woman wrote the same story about her husband I am sure the gaggle of female friends would tell her to fuck him off.

    There are kids involved but I am sure they are picking up on the negativity in the home and separating from the pig doesn't mean he has to separate from the kids. The only concern I would have is how much more of a fucking slob will she turn into without him and would that have a negative influence on the kids?
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]

    Thanks to {{909}}

    Goldberg (12th May 2014) 


  11. #11
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Got the t-shirt....

    Got a divorce about 10 years ago, and have seen the children almost every weekend and school holiday since. As many have said above, it doesn't mean he has to stop being a dad and if the marriage is so broken it might mean he has a better relationship with his children. It can (will) be very difficult maintaining an amicable relationship with the ex but for the sake of the kids he should try at least. Just don't kick off in front of them!

    Although this worked well for me it's not to say his marriage is broken beyond repair... she could be made to see sense and hopefully will, my situation was different (she was a cheating whore/cunt).

    Tell him to try one of those local help groups (relate or similar).. at least that way if it does go pete tong he can say he really tried to salvage everything.

    P.S Any pics of his wife ????

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  12. #12
    DF Super Moderator
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    It sounds shallow to say leave, but I totally agree.

    If he's not happy, get out. Best thing I ever did - even the single life at 30 was fun.
    Grass is not just greener, its far easier to maintain.


  13. #13
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Quote Originally Posted by DejaVu View Post
    Grass is not just greener, its far easier to maintain.
    Am I the only one who thinks DejaVu made a thinly disguised reference to his pubic hair here ?????

    Thanks to macmilm

    Goldberg (14th May 2014) 


  14. #14
    DF Probation MsDG's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    I think you are absolutely correct that if they split up the fact that you played "hide the sausage" with her will come out.... and you will be in the shit.

    Therefore I recommend if you think things are turning bad then you should make the preemptive first strike by admitting that you "may have" been a trial blazer many years ago at school. That way it cannot be used against you later.

    However, as far as the relationship goes.... I will stay well out of it.

  15. #15
    DF Probation H4ss4n's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Surely she is eating herself to an early heart attack?

    So he can either wait for it to happen or take her to the Drs who will tell her that if she continues to live like a pig she wont live to see her kids grow up etc....

    That will hopefully shock her into sorting her life out.

    Thanks to H4ss4n

    Goldberg (12th May 2014) 


  16. #16
    DF PwNagE Geko's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Put a treadmill in front of the fridge.


    As for the shagging her. Lie, lie and lie. She's a lying vindictive bitch. You wouldn't touch her.

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  17. #17
    DF Wh0re Basset's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Personally tell him to tell her how he's feeling.. probably harder to do than leave her but needs to be done.

    He only has one shot at life , he wants to be a dad to his kids and as it stands right now he's not living life he's wallowing around and needs to kick some butt.. He tells her he's getting himself sorted and he hopes she joins him.

  18. #18
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Quote Originally Posted by Geko View Post
    As for the shagging her. Lie, lie and lie. She's a lying vindictive bitch. You wouldn't touch her.
    That's true..... she has become so vindictive she is trying to divert the issues away from her and onto her Husbands best friend !!! What a nasty fat bitch, recommend he leaves her immediately.....


    On a very serious note though... be warned (from experience)
    If you offer too good of a shoulder to cry on / a good listening ear or whatever you want to dress it up as.... when it kicks the fuck off, which from the sound of it, it soon will, who's door will he be knocking on when he needs a couch on which to sleep????? He could be a cling-on ! In fact he could end up returning the spouse fucking favour .... You never know, what goes around, cums around.

    On second thoughts you might want him to patch things up pronto !

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    Goldberg (14th May 2014) 


  19. #19
    DF PiMP Cosmicpore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    So she's a fat slob. Is she a bad mother? A bad wife? A bad person? His reasons for wanting to end his marriage and break up a home seem pretty thin (or so it seems with the little information). Her laziness and gluttony can be remedied, the broken family cannot. Although when split they may be able to behave amicably, without doubt the separation will have a huge impact on the children. Why risk it over a seemingly small issue? If she was a cheater/liar/total cuntflap then divorce would be understandable.

    As for the teen-time pumping, I would keep it zipped. If she eventually mentions it then, as a best mate, you'd hope he could be reasoned with and understand how insignificant it was. Telling him you once pumped his wife, while he is already feeling like he's in a shitpipe, will surely just fuel the fire.

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  20. #20
    DF Probation Goldberg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Moral Dilemma...

    Well I'm off for a beer with him.
    Going to wait and see what he says.. I might suggest he cancels Sky! In order to afford the take aways she requires, of which he will be taking her one home tonight as usual.

    Will report back to see how his feelings are. We have the F1 and footy to talk about tonight as a distraction..
    We all make mistakes sometimes

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