Moral Dilemma...

[GTI]

My missus has remained within 5 kg of her married weight, despite two kids. The secret, I make her feel desired, shower her with compliments, buy her lingerie on special occasions etc.. I also take care of myself so she doesn't feel like she's married to Mr Blobby. Its fucking hard work and we often fight like cats and dogs, but I live and die by my vows + I don't want my kids to be raised by someone else.

So your mate needs to man up, and try and understand why she's lets herself go (post natal depression, poor self image etc..) because if he still loves her and is willing to make the effort there might still be hope.

[BigBird]

He needs to sit her down and tell her that he loves her and is really worried that he will lose her if she doesn't do something about her weight. Talk about the old times and what a good looking couple they made at that time. Get her to realise she may not be around to see the kids get married and may not get to see any grandchildren. If he can persuade her to see her doctor and go with her, I'm sure her doctor will spell out the risks she is taking by being overweight.

If nothing like that works then he should just leave. If there is still a spark on her side she will miss him and want him back and he can then dictate the terms...one of the terms being her making the effort to lose weight and take better care of herself. If she doesn't show any interest in wanting him back or is not prepared to make any effort towards losing weight then its over anyway.

I'm with Geko and macmilm on the issue your past with her. You have left it too late to tell him yourself. He will guess you are only telling him first in case she does. If she does mention it you can claim that it is a vindictive lie to separate him from his best mate so he has no support and has nowhere to go but back to her. Its not what you did with his wife that will be the issue, its the fact that you didn't tell him until now or until she mentioned it. Its your word against hers and she has the motive. You have no motive for not telling him all these years. After all it was before they got together so if it had happened you would have told him when he first started seeing her. (">

EDIT: I'm guessing he has no idea you are a member here and occasionally has a look in at these posts? If he does then I would suggest looking for a new best friend. macmilm springs to mind. You can be best friends with your shagging buddy you know. (">

[WotTheFook]

You can't save people from themselves.

My missus has piled a load of weight on over the years, she's diabetic and still thinks of Chocolate Digestives as a breakfast cereal. She's had laser surgery in her eyes for retinapathy and she complains that the feeling in her feet and lower legs is going. She's showing signs of forgetfulness and she repeats herself quite often, but will she change her behaviour? Not a chance. Her World would collapse if our broadband went off, so she couldn't go on Facebook and bingo sites.

I tried for years to get her to change her ways when my sons were at home without any success and I must admit I stuck it out for the kids. Now my sons have left home and now we are just lodgers in the same house - it's only debt that stops me from leaving.

@ Goldberg

Forget what MsDG said - you bedded her before they met, so there's no foul play; it's not like she went over the side after they wed.

[BigBird]

You can't save people from themselves.

My missus has piled a load of weight on over the years, she's diabetic and still thinks of Chocolate Digestives as a breakfast cereal. She's had laser surgery in her eyes for retinapathy and she complains that the feeling in her feet and lower legs is going. She's showing signs of forgetfulness and she repeats herself quite often, but will she change her behaviour? Not a chance. Her World would collapse if our broadband went off, so she couldn't go on Facebook and bingo sites.

I tried for years to get her to change her ways when my sons were at home without any success and I must admit I stuck it out for the kids. Now my sons have left home and now we are just lodgers in the same house - it's only debt that stops me from leaving.

@ Goldberg

Forget what MsDG said - you bedded her before they met, so there's no foul play; it's not like she went over the side after they wed.

There a lot of couples living as lodgers under the same roof because it is too expensive to do otherwise. Mate of mine was like this for years because all he had was invested in the house and his garage/workshop was everything to him. If they has split up he would have had to rent somewhere and get rid of all his tools and stuff. They do these days seem to be getting on quite well and may well go into their old age as a happy couple.

You sometimes hear of couples who have been married for over 50 years getting divorced. They have lived almost separate lives under the same roof for years and they are finally realising that times have changed and it is acceptable to get divorced without being stoned by crowds of disapproving villagers in the street. (">

[Lighty]

goldberg is this "friend" really you? and you have actually shageed her? many times

[macmilm]

goldberg is this "friend" really you? and you have actually shageed her? many times

We were all thinking it...... but what is shageed ???

[Goldberg]

Right, you all wanted pics. Here you go.. She is the one on the right.




Had a chat with him last night. Didn't really get onto the 'Fuck her off' or 'Give her a chance' talk, I mainly just listened.
I asked him if he thought she was shagging about, with all of the Facebook time you do often wonder as old flames do often get in touch..
We were reassured that was not happening by stalking her on Facebook (his phone account) last night. Every single time something happened in a program she was updating Facebook with it!

Now what did concern me was I knew he was taking her home a Kebab and chips. Whilst she was on Facebook she updated her status to say hoe she was looking forward to it, but then a few mins later she had just liked some Domino's Pizza Deal and then posted a photo of it when it arrived! She then text my mate asking him to make sure he got a Garlic and Chilli Sauce to go with her Kebab and Chips..

I had to speak to him about this and he just shrugged his shoulders. i do not get it.. He is concerned about their relationship and her weight yet he turns a blind eye to the problem.
Also what concerned me was the amount of 'Likes' she was getting from her friends.

I am going to follow it up with him during the day by email and subtlety mention things to him about it and how it is not right. I think I want to try and help them.. It is easy for me to tell him to fuck her off because of my recent issues but I dealt with them swiftly before something like this happened.

To be honest you just cannot trust women. They are out to fuck you over no matter what. In the olden days they used to be chained to the kitchen and ironing board, if I am honest I wouldn't trust a woman to do any of that shit for me. I need to get over the fact I hate the whining bitches just for his case and see what I can do for him.

So to conclude this mornings episode, I think I am going to try to help him first realise that he needs to help himself to help her. Also I am not going to mention that I banged her back in the day...

[flumperino]

Mate there's nothing you can do. This doesn't sound like a situation that can be resolved by a bit of advice or a gentle steer in the right direction. From what you have said, these people have quite serious, deep seated issues. Professional counselling may be the best option.

[macmilm]

I know he's your mate and all but surely you can see he is being a bit of a stupid cunt here !!!! Fueling the fire ....

Should have got her salad and pitta and if she wanted meat she can get on her knees... she would need to work it for the mayo too.

Biggest problem here sounds like facebook to me... tell him to ban it router side

[Goldberg]

I am actually popping round to sort out why his Plex is not playing correctly. He is clueless when it comes to computers and the Internet (which is why I know he will never find this thread).
I might have a mess with his router and do that Turn it off every couple of days for a few hours at a time. Good thinking.

[macmilm]

I am actually popping round to sort out why his Plex is not playing correctly. He is clueless when it comes to computers and the Internet (which is why I know he will never find this thread).
I might have a mess with his router and do that Turn it off every couple of days for a few hours at a time. Good thinking.

Depending on his router some have timed access rules.... you could set it up so that she gets sporadic access to Facefuck... that way she will think it is her internet connection!!!
Also she will be using up calories moaning at her ISP instead of her husband.

Better still redirect any facebook requests to Slimming World (other fat fighting clubs are available)

[CallmeGoose]

maybe Macmilms gooseberry pie will be a healthier option? I heard he has a big bush or two....


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[GTI]

Depending on his router some have timed access rules.... you could set it up so that she gets sporadic access to Facefuck... that way she will think it is her internet connection!!!
Also she will be using up calories moaning at her ISP instead of her husband.

Better still redirect any facebook requests to Slimming World (other fat fighting clubs are available)

Chances are she also has a smartphone

[Goldberg]

Over wifi though the same would happen

[Mr.James]

Set a wireless power save time to switch wireless off for a couple hours every night... It might stop her ordering Dominos online too if you're lucky.

Sounds to me like he's not even confronted her about it if he's happily buying her kebab and pizza. Buying cross trainers and suggesting walks are nice hints but he needs to just come out with it. Get him to open up to her about it and sort it out before it's too late. Don't let him bottle it up until it's past the point of no return.

[BertRoot]

Kill her in her sleep. Granted he will land in nick but foster parents are well vetted so kids will be fine. He might need to source an elephant gun.

[GTI]

Kill her in her sleep. Granted he will land in nick but foster parents are well vetted so kids will be fine. He might need to source an elephant gun.

Alternatively construct a basement dungeon and only feed her 700 calories per day until she resembles her wedding photos.

[macmilm]

Anyone watched 'Feed' : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445965/?ref_=nv_sr_1

I get a hard on just thinking about it

[BigBird]

Anyone watched 'Feed' : http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0445965/?ref_=nv_sr_1

I get a hard on just thinking about it

We all know about your taste for big women, so just for you here are a couple of fat lesbians indulging in some intense foreplay. (">

[Goldberg]

That is pure filth..