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  1. #1
    DF Jedi BigBird's Avatar
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    Default Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    My land line is crackling really bad, but much worse than that my internet speed is down to less than 1 meg and the connection keeps dropping every few minutes. Eliminated my own wiring by plugging the phone into the master test socket. EE say it will take two days before they can fix it.


    So can anyone recommend the most effective and painless method of killing myself? (">

  2. #2
    DF Jedi consoles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    Just make sure its video'd with an auto upload to youtube and a link to you page
    R.I.P BigBird

    Thanks to consoles

    BigBird (2nd June 2014) 


  3. #3
    DF PiMP Cosmicpore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    Ffffffaaack. This might be the one excusable reason to take a laptop down to the nearest coffee shop to use the wi-fi.

    But make sure its a macbook and wear thick rimmed glasses, otherwise you'll just look like a weirdo.

    2 Thanks given to Cosmicpore

    AP0ll0UK (2nd June 2014), BigBird (2nd June 2014) 


  4. #4
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmicpore View Post
    Ffffffaaack. This might be the one excusable reason to take a laptop down to the nearest coffee shop to use the wi-fi.

    But make sure its a macbook and wear thick rimmed glasses, otherwise you'll just look like a weirdo.
    You've never seen big bird before then


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

    Thanks to jaygo

    BigBird (2nd June 2014) 


  5. #5
    DF PiMP Cosmicpore's Avatar
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    oops.

  6. #6
    Mummy's little soldier I Black Belt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    When you go to bed tonight, set a load of porn to stream.
    When you wake tomorrow and it's all buffered, wank yourself into a coma.
    When you wake, your connection should be up and running again

    Thanks to I Black Belt

    BigBird (2nd June 2014) 


  7. #7
    DF Jedi akimba's Avatar
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    yeah sounds like you on the BT DLM or dynamic line management, as you kept dropping signal a lot they throttle you right back to fuck all and you have to wait for the service to work out you back on a solid line.

    Doesn't explain the crackling tho was that down to your own plumbing as you said you tested the master socket but didn't say the results?

  8. #8
    DF Jedi BigBird's Avatar
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    Quote Originally Posted by akimba View Post
    yeah sounds like you on the BT DLM or dynamic line management, as you kept dropping signal a lot they throttle you right back to fuck all and you have to wait for the service to work out you back on a solid line.

    Doesn't explain the crackling tho was that down to your own plumbing as you said you tested the master socket but didn't say the results?
    Was still crackling on the test socket so knew it was their end which is why I rang for a repair. (">

  9. #9
    DF PlaYa MHP's Avatar
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    You have an earth or a battery fault normally caused by a contact with another working pair. The fault is either mechanical (copper touching copper) or inductive (corrosion or moisture). Check your lead in (the cable running from your premises to the box outside), if you have one. Check the box if you have access to it, exposed copper or green and gunky corrosion is not good. If not then the problem is either in the underground network, overhead network, cab or exchange. If you disconnect your sockets and stick your tongue on the exposed wires and get someone to ring you. The 100 volts DC ringing current should eventually kill you, could take a few days though...
    Last edited by MHP; 2nd June 2014 at 08:55 PM.

  10. #10
    DF PlaYa AP0ll0UK's Avatar
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    If EE say it's going to take 2 days to fix it then find something else to do for the next 2 weeks.

    They are a slack-setup bunch of wankers. I've come up against them whilst helping a friend out with various WiFi and Internet related issues which involved multiple phone calls. Unfortunately they are one of those providers who you have to dedicate your foot to being right up their arse for as long as it takes to get the issue resolved. Keep on top of them.

  11. #11
    DF Jedi BigBird's Avatar
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    Quote Originally Posted by AP0ll0UK View Post
    If EE say it's going to take 2 days to fix it then find something else to do for the next 2 weeks.

    They are a slack-setup bunch of wankers. I've come up against them whilst helping a friend out with various WiFi and Internet related issues which involved multiple phone calls. Unfortunately they are one of those providers who you have to dedicate your foot to being right up their arse for as long as it takes to get the issue resolved. Keep on top of them.
    In this particular case with it being a BT line the EE representative contacted BT for a repair date while I was on the phone and they came back with the 4th which is in two days time. So it's BT that will be doing the repairs. Don't know if that is a good thing or not.

    My friend Paul is a BT engineer but hes on holiday in Thailand and won't pop back to sort it out for me even though it will take him less than an hour to fix. Some friend he is. Well if I do end up taking my own life over this I hope it leaves him feeling guilty as hell. Just to make sure he gets the point I may even pop down to his house tomorrow and paint THANKS PAUL in a sarcastic font and big letters on the front of his house. (">

  12. #12
    DF Rookie leigh46137's Avatar
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    Default Re: Faulty landline and the end of my world.

    Quote Originally Posted by BigBird View Post
    My friend Paul is a BT engineer but hes on holiday in Thailand and won't pop back to sort it out for me even though it will take him less than an hour to fix. Some friend he is. Well if I do end up taking my own life over this I hope it leaves him feeling guilty as hell. Just to make sure he gets the point I may even pop down to his house tomorrow and paint THANKS PAUL in a sarcastic font and big letters on the front of his house. (">
    Just do what they do in the BTs advert, Constantly keep going to his house and use his super fast broadband. until he gets you fixed!

    Thanks to leigh46137

    BigBird (3rd June 2014) 


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