Iritated anus

Thread: Iritated anus

  1. Cosmicpore's Avatar

    Cosmicpore said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    I cried laughing, such wonderful verse.

    And oh dear lord, wash your goddamn anus properly.

    My first thought was worms, as described by a kid 'its itchy'. But if it itches after a shit and you only wipe twice, sounds like its a case of dirty-bum-syndrome. Flushable wet wipes and a soapy loofah in the shower should clean things up.

    Ingrown hairs would cause an itchy crack but not an itchy star.

    Any pain or discomfort when the logs fall out?

    And if it doesn't improve with cleanliness, go to the GP and sort out dem worms.
     
  2. plug1's Avatar

    plug1 said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    I think it's some thing you will need to get looked in to .
    i heard you can make your own endoscope with a web cam lol
     
  3. consoles's Avatar

    consoles said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    it will be internal piles, if i eat loads of cheese and dairy i get it for about a week, drives you fucking crazy and seems to be worse at bedtime.
    many a morning woke up with a stinky finger from the sleep scratching.
     
  4. piggzy's Avatar

    piggzy said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Another vote for the hair issue ! I suffer exact same symptoms and a good dab of the wife's hair removing cream all over the ring piece, left for the appropriate amount of time and jobs a good un

    Usually itch and irritation free for a couple of months then repeat

    Just in case you were protesting too much in the original post, just make sure your 'life partner' keeps his cock and bollocks clean ;-)
     
  5. mitchb's Avatar

    mitchb said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Reminds me of an episode of curb your enthusiasm where a hamster went missing and Larry had an itchy anus
     
  6. super mike's Avatar

    super mike said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    How's your diet? Sort that out too, what goes in must come out.
    and:
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
     
  7. CzarJunkie's Avatar

    CzarJunkie said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    When arse gravy escapes the rectal canal it can irritate the outer rim of the anus. My dad worked on the streets of San Francisco for Medecins Sans Frontieres during the 80's AIDS epidemic and saw his fair share of dribbling dirtpipes.

    Given your penchant for Turkish cab drivers I suspect your arse flaps like a kingsize duvet cover on an Oklahoma washing line. My dad's advice is pack your ringpiece with as much cotton wool as it takes and change daily.
     
  8. Lou_smorals's Avatar

    Lou_smorals said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Lol
    Classic topic, if you have an anus like a clowns pocket try a rolled up bath sheet
    LS


    Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk HD
    Dear Lord, please grant me the ability to punch people in the face over Standard TCP/IP
     
  9. ViSaGe's Avatar

    ViSaGe said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Feck me, this thread has just gained 'classic' status. I'm actualy crying from some of the 'advice' .

    We need a top tier sacrifice for our whicker man, you sound perfect.
     
  10. supraman54's Avatar

    supraman54 said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Definiteley the most entertaining thread for a long time has come out of DJ's arse.. :-)

    supe
    http://www.speedtest.net/result/2920820230.png
     
  11. stevo25's Avatar

    stevo25 said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Quote Originally Posted by plug1 View Post
    I think it's some thing you will need to get looked in to .
    i heard you can make your own endoscope with a web cam lol
    colonoscope you mean
    Look whats sat on my desk at work
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
     
  12. DJ Overdose's Avatar

    DJ Overdose said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Quote Originally Posted by supraman54 View Post
    Definiteley the most entertaining thread for a long time has come out of DJ's arse.. :-)

    supe
    Haha! Had you all going. It's not me with an itchy brown cave... It's me mate Dave from down the pub


    DJ OD
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
     
  13. Lou_smorals's Avatar

    Lou_smorals said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Hi
    Ahhhh "Dave" with the blown out gearbox
    LS
    Dear Lord, please grant me the ability to punch people in the face over Standard TCP/IP
     
  14. jaguar982's Avatar

    jaguar982 said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Go to docs get some steroid cream works a treat

    jag


    I'm not racist i hate everybody
     
  15. plug1's Avatar

    plug1 said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Quote Originally Posted by stevo25 View Post
    colonoscope you mean
    Look whats sat on my desk at work
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    I bet that's seen more bums than Rolf haris
     
  16. darkstar's Avatar

    darkstar said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Quote Originally Posted by consoles View Post
    it will be internal piles, if i eat loads of cheese and dairy i get it for about a week, drives you fucking crazy and seems to be worse at bedtime.
    many a morning woke up with a stinky finger from the sleep scratching.

    Same me with me mainly of a night .drives you dam crazy .. Will keep i on the cheese and dairy
     
  17. aloogobee's Avatar

    aloogobee said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Search for a bidet shower or Muslim shower and get it fitted. Problem solved
     
  18. Over Carl's Avatar

    Over Carl said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]


    I find P120 normally sorts it out perfect.

    For smaller, or shorter term issues I will start from 400 then work through the grades.
     
  19. DJ Overdose's Avatar

    DJ Overdose said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Quick update: my arse has been a lot better of late.

    Not sure if it's due to cutting down on spicey food, buying new pants, mega wiping my arse with more paper than an Andrex puppy can eat or the change in weather... Mostly because those things don't apply perhaps.

    That said I now have a new job and my commute involves a train for 35 minutes instead of sitting in the car for minimum of an hour each way... Arse sweats due to sitting on leather seats in the car too much I suspext.


    DJ OD
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
    [Only registered and activated users can see links. ]
     
  20. blacksheep's Avatar

    blacksheep said:

    Default Re: Iritated anus

    Combo of diet and wiping properly mate. If you're scratching your arse and there's marks on your underwear then you haven't wiped properly surely?