GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

Thread: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

  1. Geko's Avatar

    Geko said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    lol....

    My vow of celibacy is broken. But.... I am still wank free. Don't know how long it will last.
     
  2. flumperino's Avatar

    flumperino said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    lol, you guys are rubbish.....didn't even make it till the end of January
     
  3. Geko's Avatar

    Geko said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Small steps.
     
  4. piggzy's Avatar

    piggzy said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Gotta be honest. Still genuinely not wanked. Have had a few shags but absolutely no rendezvous with Madam Palm and her five loverly daughters.
    Had even forgot about this thread, just not had opportunity.

    To be fair there isn't much more abuse it can take after a good couple of decades of love pump.
     
  5. Over Carl's Avatar

    Over Carl said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    I didn't even think about a wank for 5 weeks due to the meds I was on. No shagging either

    Unfortunately I cannot say I noticed much difference due to that, except I shot a shitload when I did eventually have one.
     
  6. GTI's Avatar

    GTI said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    I was working from home today so obviously wanked myself into oblivion on some rather tasty Spanish amateur shit ([Only registered and activated users can see links. ]). Then missus just waltzes in, hair done, sexy new red outfit and whispers in my ear that the kids are going to the babysitter tonight.

    I feel like a fucking husk of a man, nothing left save some watery gruel. Apart from an icecold bath and plenty of fluids, any other tips? (fast acting preferably)
     
  7. Ganty's Avatar

    Ganty said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Quote Originally Posted by GTI View Post
    I was working from home today so obviously wanked myself into oblivion on some rather tasty Spanish amateur shit ([Only registered and activated users can see links. ]). Then missus just waltzes in, hair done, sexy new red outfit and whispers in my ear that the kids are going to the babysitter tonight.

    I feel like a fucking husk of a man, nothing left save some watery gruel. Apart from an icecold bath and plenty of fluids, any other tips? (fast acting preferably)
    Doggy style and yoghurt. I'm sure she fakes it on occasion, so it's only fair.

    Good luck my friend!
     
  8. piggzy's Avatar

    piggzy said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Quote Originally Posted by GTI View Post
    I was working from home today so obviously wanked myself into oblivion on some rather tasty Spanish amateur shit ([Only registered and activated users can see links. ]). Then missus just waltzes in, hair done, sexy new red outfit and whispers in my ear that the kids are going to the babysitter tonight.

    I feel like a fucking husk of a man, nothing left save some watery gruel. Apart from an icecold bath and plenty of fluids, any other tips? (fast acting preferably)
    Apparently nothing beats oats in rapid spunk production. Was also told the highly processed readybrek style glupe is useless. Gotta be proper rolled oats .

    Enjoy your night... look forward to the pictures.
     
  9. CzarJunkie's Avatar

    CzarJunkie said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Quote Originally Posted by GTI View Post
    I was working from home today so obviously wanked myself into oblivion on some rather tasty Spanish amateur shit ([Only registered and activated users can see links. ]). Then missus just waltzes in, hair done, sexy new red outfit and whispers in my ear that the kids are going to the babysitter tonight.

    I feel like a fucking husk of a man, nothing left save some watery gruel. Apart from an icecold bath and plenty of fluids, any other tips? (fast acting preferably)


    Tell her you've found a lump on one of your testicles and you are shitting blood. When she tries to console you, shun her and tell her you need to be alone. Storm out of the house and jump in the motor, then drive off with a wheel spin. Book into a local B&B, preferably a boutique type affair who only serve water in glass bottles, and get a good nights rest.

    Return home the next morning as though nothing has happened. When she asks where you have been, look at her as though she's crazy and say that you've just been to take the rubbish out. Whatever happens, and no matter how vexed she becomes, keep up the pretence, as the temptation to come clean will be most strongest about this time.

    Insist you slept in the same bed right next to her as you do every night and she is clearly having some kind of delusional episode. Eventually she will begin to break and question the very nature of her reality. Once you spot her beginning to unravel, suggest a couple of industrial strength temazepam from your 'samples' cabinet and a lie down while you contact Dr. Fassbender from the Institute to see if her psychosis is permanent.

    When she eventually comes round, tell her she has been in a coma for 6 years and you have remarried and now have another family. Add extra realism by hiring a child actor to play one of your children as their older self, who will stand by her bedside and nod to confirm your story, and weep occasionally. When she asks who the child is, have him/her throw themselves on top of her and scream 'It's me mummy, it's me'.

    What you do next is up to you, the most important thing is that now you have options. You could have her sectioned if the marriage isn't what it used to be, and the receptionist at the B&B was giving you the eye. Another way to go would be continuing with an endless cycle of benzodiazepine induced sleep followed by waking episodes of psychosis, just to see how that turns out.

    Let us know how you get on.
     
  10. BertRoot's Avatar

    BertRoot said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Quote Originally Posted by CzarJunkie View Post
    Let us know how you get on.
    Inspirational. Thanks CJ.

     
  11. GTI's Avatar

    GTI said:

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Thanks all, somehow I managed to deliver the goods (twice in fact), however next time I would appreciate it if she sent me an Outlook invite.
    It does highlight how much the real thing is far more pleasurable than tugging along to an endless stream of fake actors... time for me to go back on my No Fap diet.