About two weeks ago I identified I had been suffering from a manic episode which the docs confirmed last week.
After doing further reading I am pretty certain it was actually a mixed/dysphoric episode. Docs seem pretty certain it was all due to the steroids I was on, but looking back I can clearly identify two other manic episodes with no medication involved, and the difference in me while manic/dysphoric makes me feel like it has opened up my eyes to the fact that something wasn't right before which fitting around the symptoms and current diagnosis would most likely be to Bipolar.
At the time when I had the two previous episodes, I I noticed things weren't normal but at the time I thought it was simply due to confidence rising in a massive positive feedback loop just because everything at the time was going more perfectly than imaginable. Also I suspect those were more "clean" manic episodes where everything felt brilliant and it wasn't drug induced, while this one has been more of a mixed episode maybe because it was triggered by meds, and this was kind of nice and kind of horrible at the same time.
Prioblem is the docs won't even entertain the idea it might not be because of the meds at this moment in time, and I suspect I'm gradually transitioning to my "normal" state but my head seems to be at a different place nearly every day and I have no idea what to expect as the docs seem to want to talk about everything else and as soon as I get round to my mental concerns they just rudely remind me they have run out of time and have other patients to see, even though I have spent half a day I really cannot afford to waste waiting for a 10 min appointment desperately hoping to get some answers but just getting fobbed off every time.
Pretty disappointed as I had requested a psych evaluation of myself while in hospital which totally missed I was either manic or dysphoric at the time. Tried to get my Macmillan nurse to put a little pressure on my doc, but even though she eventually totally understood my concerns, I suspect only a fraction of these were relayed to my doc who I suspect only called to tick a few boxes (e.g. non suicidal) then shut me up again.
If anyone has any first hand experience of Bipolar I would be very grateful if I could ask them as few questions as part of me worries I may be going off at a complete tangent with my armchair diagnosis which will then lead me to try and address these issues in an inappropriate manner, while the remainder of me is pretty certain I have figured it out and just would love to know where I am going and what to expect.
I can understand if members don't want to admit being sufferers on the open board so I would be very grateful for replies in the thread or via pm.
Before anyone wonders/worries, I'm generally ok and still moving onwards and upwards making progress in my life and I suspect if I do have issues they are at the less severe end of the spectrum, but getting no help or answers is doing my head in.