Best way to deal with thieving little shite...

[DJ OD]

So I went away for the weekend and came back to find some fucker had nicked my garden chairs (2).

Now the garden is communal with other flats in my block but shared by only 20 or so flats. It's enclosed from the public and the only way in from the street is a gate and that is usually kept locked by bolts from the inside.

Since the school holidays this gate has been on occasion left open by people passing through the blocks exit to the garden. Each block has 4 flats. Two up two down.

Its a safe and relatively crime free area which usually hasn't got issues with yoots.

My neighbours tell me it was a young boy that took them and ran up the road with them for a 'den' some kids were building. One neighbours kid identified the kid and was told by here aunt to stay away from the 'bigger' boys.

So this 12-13 year old kid called Moses has fucked off with my chairs. He lives local and it wouldn't be hard to identify his house.

Do I...

a) knock seven bells out of the kid?
b) go to his house and nick something?
c) go to his house and tell his parents what he did and demand the chairs returned or replaced else draft the Pollips.
d) tell the Pollips and wait while they do fuck all?
e) do fuck all myself and do without my chairs.

Now I was young once and I've done much worse shit. Should a lesson be taught here? Morally or karma?

What if the next thing to go is the matching table?

I fucking hate the self serving police at the best of times... So would rather not even talk to them.

The chairs maybe worth £30-£40, but they are my fucking chairs! They've been there two years and no one has so much as touched them.


DJ OD

[chizh]

Have 'a word'.
If he's apologetic and you get the chairs back, let it slide. Lesson learned.
Otherwise, a slap will make you feel better but could land you in trouble nowadays.

[DJ OD]

More concerned about retribution from the kid or his likely reprobate folks if either belt the fucker or threaten with the Pollips especially on someone else's front door.

Was thinking about putting a printed note on the table saying: "You were seen. I know who you are. Return the chairs or cops will be informed."



DJ OD

[Mobileman]

option A+ , cunts have no respect for things these days,

take a large estate car /van, false plates, drive by, bag him, bundle him in van, take to quiet abandoned spot, question him to what items he has taken recently and to think about consequences , there will be more then just yours !
before leave tell him if he takes the bag off his head in the next five mins you'll shoot him. then make a sharp exit leaving him there to walk back shitting bricks

he wont do it again and might think twice for anything else

mobileman justice at its best

fuck the chairs or see if they return

[chizh]

A mate of mine worked in an industrial unit next to a business run by ex-para. this para's unit got broken into by a couple of local druggies one of which he managed to track down.

Locked him in the unit in a stress position for 14 hours before asking where his mate was and where they got rid of the stuff they'd nicked.
Needless to say the lad gave his mate up, both got a kicking and the para got his gear back and the rep that comes with dealing with things your own way. Not had one bit of trouble since.

[TJB]

Just go to the den and get them back. If there's any resistance, give them a clip. I pulled a few stunts like this when I was younger but always stayed clear of the local nutters who would give you a belt. Having said that, these days you never know what the kids or their parents will do.

[DJ OD]

I've already been round the area and the den to look for the chairs. Not found them. Found a multitude of other crap though. None of which I want or can sit on.


DJ OD

[piggzy]

1. Find said kids, offer a can of beverage/cider laced with Rohypnol. Whilst sleeping soundly make a solution of PVA glue mixed with water and put a spoonful in a condom.
2. Poke said condom up boys arse with the handle of a wooden spoon.
3. Retreat and allow them to wake.
4. Feel the warm glow of making a little cunt weep.

5. Buy new chairs

[Mystical_2K]

1. Find said kids, offer a can of beverage/cider laced with Rohypnol. Whilst sleeping soundly make a solution of PVA glue mixed with water and put a spoonful in a condom.
2. Poke said condom up boys arse with the handle of a wooden spoon.
3. Retreat and allow them to wake.
4. Feel the warm glow of making a little cunt weep.

5. Buy new chairs

6. Go directly to Jail do not pass GO!

[piggzy]

6. Go directly to Jail do not pass GO!

Erm, Wearing latex gloves throughout I thought was obvious !!!!

[crazyal]

Find out where he lives, go up and ask for the chairs back. Tell him you know it was him that too them and you want them back. If he gives them back, no harm no foul.

If he gives you grief, set fire to the fucking caravan whilst his mum is still in it. Pikey scumbag.

That last line was totally non-related but it popped in my head whilst replying, so fuck it, I wrote it down.

[DejaVu]

Mobilemans nailed it, but forgot the high powered bright light in the face with chair (if you can source another for the time being).

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