right after many years of using a cheapo point n click camera I have finally bit the bullet and purchased a better camera.

My problems started before the purchase, I have always picked a camera with a good amount of pixels and optical zoom over digital zoom, I tried to ask what lenses would compare with my usual zoom as I didn't understand 16/50 or 70/300 and it just got worse when f1.8 and..... well and that's where I lost the will to live.

So I just got a camera and 2 lenses to get me started, one is a 18 to 55 and the other is a 70 - 300 with a 750d body, not to over the top for me price wise and enough features to keep me learning for a few years, not pro level but as I know feck all its going to keep me busy and learning and I do like it already, only got it today and the settings seem straight forward in theory but only the practice will tell.

so now for the dreaded, can you tell me as easy as you can what all this lens jargon is please, every lens they spoke about was portrait and then full frame or four thirds and macro, I melted, oh and do I want to buy a nifty fifty, I said but this one does fifty, its not the same sir...yeah it wouldn't be would it ffs.

oh and this one goes to f1.8 and this does f1.6 and some go to theoretical 1.2 if you do this..........wow I said in my best sarcasm ..

I did ask what was going to be a 35mm camera comparison and could I start there and work from it.......silence followed......long awkward silence and I could see he wanted to point at my face and scream "noob" and laugh uncontrollably while the rest of the store slowly turned towards me and joined in.

please help.

thank you.